And Then There Were Four (Lilith Carrie) novel Chapter 162

Chapter 162: Silas' Desire

Cassie.

The moment I left my brother's room, I couldn't help but feel a little hopeless in this entire situation. I've never been the kind of girl to be weak. I was always the girl who stood out, who didn't take shit from anyone. And the one time I really did need my brother's advice, he dismissed it as if I was the one who had a problem.

I didn't understand it. I had been there for him countless times over the years. Even though we had our differences, it didn't matter. I still came to his aid if he needed it. And the one time I needed him, all he wanted to do was be balls deep in a girl who was supposed to be my friend.

Tears streamed down my face and quickly I wiped them away. This was nothing but a sign of weakness. At least that was how I was raised. And right now, more than anything, I kind of wish I had my father's here to help guide me through all of this.

I know for fact my father, Talon, would be a little disap- pointed in how I was acting. He had raised me to be strong, to not take crap from anyone. And even though he had raised me that way, I still had that weakness of emotional instability.

Or at least that was what my therapist had called it when I was younger.

I stepped into my room and closed the door behind me, sinkin to my knees. Perhaps Lucas didn't want me, but I couldn't help but feel a little jealous over the fact everything I was doing wasn't good enough for him to realize I was trying to help him.

Yes, it was my fault I had acted the way I did and pushed him away.

I didn't meant to. I was scared initially when I found out he was my mate and now I regret the way I acted. I was stubborn and impulsive, andl had a hard time adjusting to the reality of things sometimes. But that was my own selfish intent causing me to be that way.

Thinking back to Melissa, my best friend who died at my hands, I couldn't help but wish she was here now, that she was able to be by my side and guide me through what I need- ed to do. She wasn't just my friend back then, she was like a sister to me in a way even though I had wanted her to be my mate. I would have been fine with her simply being my friend.

The soft, whooshing sound of the wind swirling outside alerted me, and as I quickly stood to my feet, the curtains of my balcony billowed from the breeze coming through my room. A shadowed figure stepped from the moonlight and into the dim lighting of my bedroom.

Silas stood there. He was the last person I had expected to see after everything that had happened at the library. But with here, part of me felt kind of hopeful. "What are you doing here?"

The moment his bluish-green eyes locked with mine, I felt myself slightly weakened. Through this whole time I had known him, there was always something about him that made my heart skip just a little bit more, and it was something I nev-er understood.

Watching his tall, muscular form stride towards me very slowly, I couldn't help but take a step back, only to find the door blocking any chance of escape. Stopping inches from me, he let out a soft sigh and shook his head as he cast his eyes to the floor.

"I'm sorry that I left you the way that I did, Cassie," he muttered before his eyes locked with mine. "Your question simply brought up memories I had hoped never to think of again."

"Oh." It was the only thing I could manage to get out as he stood there, trying to explain himself to me. "I'm sorry I wasn't trying to upset you."

"You have no reason to apologize to me," he replied as he lifted his hand to gently brush down the side of my face.

I wasn't sure what to do with him being so close and the delicious smell of him swirled around me. It fogged my mind, making it hard to think. “Why do you make me feel this way?"

I hadn't meant to ask that question out loud. It was sup- posed to be internally done, but unfortunately, my brain and my mouth right now were not communicating properly and with me asking that question, he let out a soft chuckle that made me blush.

"How do I make you feel?"

The question alerted me to reality and caused me to quickly step around him and out of his touch. My mind raced with a million and one thoughts of Lucas, of Silas, of my brother and Trixie, of everything that had happened since I came to this God forsaken place.

"I don't even know how I feel about things, let alone know how you make me feel or anybody else. And I have a mate. I don't understand this. Why is it that I'm so attracted to you?"

He stood staring at me for a moment, as if he was con- templating his next words with another heavy sigh escaping him as he nodded, gesturing for me to take a seat on my bed. "I think I might be able to explain things to you in some kind of way. But first, I do want to say how sorry I am that I didn't tell you sooner. I prolonged our visits at the library because I wanted to spend more time with you, which was selfish of me."

"Are you saying you withheld information from me that could have possibly sped this up a lot faster because you wanted to hang out with me?" I grumbled, anger slowly bub- bling inside of me realizing this could have all been sorted out long ago.

Opening and closing his mouth, he nodded his head. "Kind of. It's a little more complicated than that, but if you give me a chance, I'd like to explain everything to you.”

I wanted to protest to tell him to get the fuck out of my room because he had wasted so much of my time, but I want- ed to know what he had to say. I wanted to hear his explana- tion because part of me longed for him, thought of him day and night, just as I did for Lucas, and none of that made sense to me.

"Fine, explain. But make it quick because right now, I'm more upset than I was when I walked into this room." I reluc- tantly replied. However, as I waited his brows furrowed in recognition of what I had said.

"Why were you crying? What happened?"

He was completely ignoring I had allowed him to explain himself and instead was going back to why I was upset when he walked in here. If he hadn't noticed when he walked in here, then why was he asking now?

"It doesn't matter. Just please tell me what you were go- ing to explain," I replied with frustration before slowly stand- ing to my feet, not able to sit down anymore as I started to pace the room. "I need to hear what you're going to say.”

"Fine," he huffed out, clearly not happy with the fact I was not going to tell him why I was upset. "Since the moment that I saw you, I couldn't stop thinking about you, Cassie. Every- thing about you pulls me in. Everything about you makes me want to know you more, and at first, I didn't understand it ei- ther. But honestly, the only thing I can think of is that we were destined to be together."

I was taken back by the forwardness. It wasn't what I was expecting. I knew he enjoyed being around me, but with the lust-driven look he was giving me right now, I found myself completely speechless.

"Silas, I have a mate," I whispered as he stepped closer to me.

"Yes, one who doesn't appreciate the woman that you are. I do, though I can be that man for you."