Chapter 112
“He took the choice away from me, Aaron.”
That’s an understatement.
An Alpha has certain powers. It’s a little different for each of us, but the abilities allow an Alpha to control any member
of their pack. An Alpha can force a packmate to obey them, compel them to tell the truth, or force a packmate to shift, pulling their wolf to the surface. An Alpha can use his or her powers to help heal, to help unify the pack with a collective
sense of calm.
An Alpha can strip a packmate of their wolf.
But this is the worst and most cr uel punishment that can ever
be inflicted. It’s such an abomination to our species, that most Alphas will just execute the packmember before even considering something so heinous.
To do this to Leah.
As an innocent child.
I shove a hand through my hair.
There isn’t any coming back from this.
Leah’s eyes are sad when they meet mine. The pretty hazel irises sparkling like autumn leaves. “Even if I did want to
transition in the Fall…that won’t work now, will it?”
I want to lie to her, but I won’t. “No.”
Tears slip from her eyes.
“Your wolf was bound. It can’t rise again in this lifetime.”
“He killed it.”
Essentially. Yes.
She tugs her knees up and wraps her arms around them. She looks so small. “I shouldn’t do it,” she mumbles.
“Do what?”
“Hope.”
I don’t know how to reply to that.
“Everytime I think I’m about to have something good, it’s taken from me. I thought receiving my father’s powers would be the answer. That it would somehow unlock my wolf. But it’s only made things worse.”
I won’t give her false hope.
“I thought maybe becoming an Alpha would save me.”
Save her? From what?
I frown.
“Aaron, I need to be alone for a while.”
She’s pushing me away again. Building up those cursed walls.
“No.”
“I appreciate what you did tonight. Honestly, you’ve been better about things than I thought possible. But you can’t fight my battles for me. This is my life. I have to take control for myself.”
She tugs her legs tighter and rests her head on her knees. I ha te seeing her pain. I ha te knowing that she’s right. There is nothing I can do to help her.
In this situation, she can’t even help herself.
LEAH
I hold my breath until Aaron finally leaves the bedroom.
He’s the strong one. The force of nature so powerful not even fate can sway him when he wants something.
But the look in his eyes just now…
Seeing that he was helpless to help me.
That said it all.
So now I’m not just grieving my father’s treachery, but the death of everything.
Because if Aaron has given up, then things really are hopeless.
I close my eyes and rock. I used to do this all those years ago, when I was scared and lonely. I’d rock and count and just focus on the motion and numbers until my mind calmed and I either fell asleep or stopped feeling so anxious about
everything.
There’s a clock across the room, an old grandfather clock that is an antique leftover from Aaron’s dad, and it tick, tick, ticks
with each swing of its pendulum
I count each one.
An hour passes.
Then two more.
Gradually, I begin to gain control of my emotions.
There’s only so much a person can cry before they’re all cried
out.
My nose is stuffy and my head aches.
But that’s okay.
I stand up and stretch.
What can I do?
I can help set up my pack for a better future. I can make them financially solvent-or close to it.
I can establish my successor for when the inevitable moment
comes that I pass on.
I can focus on staying strong for my baby.
I’m not sure how far along I am in my pregnancy, and I’ll need to figure that out quickly.
I can carry my child as long as I can and then make sure she
or he has the best prenatal care possible. Aaron will make a good father.
He doesn’t think he’s capable of love.
But he’s loyal and strong and he’ll fight to the last breath in his body to protect his offspring.
It will have to be enough.
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