Bad Love: An Alpha's Regret (Leah and Aaron) novel Chapter 163

Chapter 163
I wake up gasping, tears pricking my eyes. My body is a mess, shaking and weak and feeling si c k, while my panties are drenched-just the way Aaron told me.
I ha te myself for it, but I shove my hand into my underwear, movements frantic until I come hard a second later, already on the edge because of that dream.
Then I collapse back onto the pillows, and the tears come faster.
What the h ell kind of dream was that?
I’m so messed up, I don’t even know what I feel.
I want Aaron-my wolf wants Aaron and his wolf-only because we are mated.
Except then another wave of tears come, because I know that’s not true.
Is it possible to love someone and ha te them at the same time?
I know it is, because I’m living it right now.
I miss him so much, and I think he is the only one who could truly understand the pain of losing our child, even though Aaron didn’t know about our son until the last minute.
Guilt burns hotly in my stomach for that.
For how hurt Aaron must have been that I’d kept the pregnancy from him…
The child was just as much his, he had every right to know sooner.
And I’d meant to tell him.
I’d planned to tell him, but there’d been so much going on, the time had never seemed right, and then my only brother had betrayed me.
What must he think of me, keeping a truth like that from him?
I wonder if that’s part of why he’s done with me, but I’m not brave enough to ask James.
But it wasn’t like Aaron was innocent in all of this. Maybe if he hadn’t treated me so cruelly, if we’d had a solid foundation of trust in our relationship, then I would’ve felt able to tell him sooner.
And that mistrust hadn’t been wrong.
When I’d needed him to do the one thing I wanted-save the baby instead of me-he’d ignored my wishes, and our son had paid
the price.
And for that, I know I will never be able to forgive him.
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