Bad Love: An Alpha's Regret (Leah and Aaron) novel Chapter 179

Chapter 179
LEAH
I finally give into Adam’s persistence and decide to visit Roberts packlands
Not to come home.
Not to stay.
Just to visit.
To show my face and reassure my family’s pack that despite all the recent losses, despite the fact that I’m no longer their Alpha-that title now belongs to someone long considered an enemy of the Roberts pack-that I am still their Luna and care about their welfare.
Many of the more senior wolves had been unhappy about Aaron now being in possession of the Roberts Alpha powers, and I had to soothe many ruffled feathers, reassuring that my husband and mate wouldn’t simply obliterate us.
I did have to wonder a few times, however, about how things had all played out and what Aaron’s plans might be for a pack he hated. He’d made no secret of his feelings towards Roberts’ wolves.
All I could do was hope that with my father and brother dead, Aaron’s animosity would be appeased, and he’d leave the rest of the pack in peace.
It wasn’t like I had the power to take the Alpha abilities back again.
As Luna, at least I could mitigate any friction between my family’s pack and Aaron acting as their Alpha.
However, I could see that many of my father’s senior wolves weren’t convinced, no matter what I said.
I’d been away for too long-since I was a child-and spent all that time living with the enemy. And then I’d only been Alpha for a matter of short weeks before Liam had betrayed me.
There hadn’t been time to build the required trust so they knew they could rely on me when I told them Aaron didn’t hold any ill will toward them.
And what did I really know of my errant mate and husband anyway?
For all I knew, Aaron was off somewhere plotting the final downfall of the Roberts pack.
Maybe that’s been his ultimate goal all along.
It’d certainly seemed that way when he’d tricked me into betraying my father, and then secretly brought up land and shares of Roberts Corp.
Adam has stood with me all day, silently giving his support, but at the same time, making it clear he agrees with much of what the senior wolves are saying.
I become increasingly annoyed with him, and wonder if this is why he wanted me to come back here, just so he can show me… what? That yet again, it’s Roberts against Rathborn and there’ll never be any true peace between our packs?
After several long meetings in which I don’t think I manage to reassure the Roberts wolves of anything at all, I head out and away from the house with no real direction in mind.
I don’t get far before I realize James has followed me. He’s been my constant shadow all day.
As usual since Aaron left me.
I miss him so much, it’s a persistent physical ache within me.
Except at the same time, I ha te that I miss him so much after everything he did.
I’m halfway across the long stretch of grass from the house, the same one I had mowed the night of the party when i’d been trying to cement my place here.
Of course, now the grass is all dead and buried under inches of snow.
A lifetime ago.
It’s evening, and the shadows are growing long.
I turn to face James, walking backwards a few steps.
“I’m going for a run,” I tell him.
“I know,” he replies, quickening his steps to catch up with me, as if he thinks I’m going to disappear on him. “It’s not the answer, you know.”
That makes me pause.
“What isn’t?”
“Shifting. Running. Exhausting yourself day after day. It’s not going to change anything.”
My heart gives a painful twist, something that happens a million times a day, any time I get even the slightest reminder of all I’ve
lost
“I know,” I tell him. “But I’m going anyway. Don’t follow me.”
I spin away from him, and break into a sprint.
“Leah!” he shouts after me, but I’m throwing off clothes and shifting and then darting into the far treeline.
He could probably catch up to me easily if he wants, but I hope he doesn’t.
I just need some time and space.
Because too often these days, I feel like I’m suffocating.