Bad Love: An Alpha's Regret (Leah and Aaron) novel Chapter 44

Chapter 44 

AARON 

I sink into one of the chairs and try to process everything. 

Leah. Missing. 

Leah. Dying. 

It just doesn’t make sense. 

She’s young. A force of life so bright at times I found it hard to be around her. I can’t imagine her not in this world. I can’t imagine that she’s si ck or hurting. 

Or that she’s been suffering for a long time and I never noticed. 

My chest aches and I rub at the center of it. 

“I still have to make rounds,” Adam says. “And there is a chance that if Leah left, that maybe she doesn’t want to be found. She might be si ck of all of us.” 

I nod. 

I don’t like it, but it may be true. 

I should’ve done so many things differently. 

I should’ve loved her. 

All the nights wasted. All the days when I purposely kept her at arm’s length. All the times she tried to make our marriage a real one. Not just in bed, but by being a real partner. 

She’d help in the kitchen and make my food. 

She’d wait up for me in the library, reading one of her books, so I wouldn’t work late alone. 

She’d laugh and argue with me, and not back down, no matter how many times I tried to relegate her to some background role. 

And now she’s gone? 

Dying??? 

But I can’t lose her. I can’t let go. 

My throat tightens. And pain seizes my body. It’s not physical so much as a wave of grief that floods my entire being. 

I go to her bed and pick up the pillow. Beneath the astringent smells of the hospital, I can scent her. That light fragrant smell of her hair that’s partly her shampoo and, beneath that, the unique, elusive scent of her skin. 

Adam reenters the hospital room. 

I can imagine what he sees. 

Me holding a bu nch of smooshed flowers and breathing into a hospital pillow. 

“You, uh, need to see this,” he tells me.