Beauty and The Beta (Bailey) novel Chapter 59

Chapter 59-Asher
My heart would not stop racing the moment I left Bailey. The thought of Isla was fresh within my mind. It tore at my very core. All my efforts at pushing thoughts of Isla back were failing so miserably. I did not know what to do. All I had known was that I needed to get away from Bailey before she saw me fall apart. She was new to the pack… I was to be her Beta, and I was expected to be strong and composed. Her father was a Beta, she knew what was expected of a Beta and I did not need her to see any weakness in me.
There would be no hope of sleep finding me tonight. No.
Perhaps it was more a case of there was no way I wanted sleep to find me tonight. I knew that dreams of Isla would be too overpowering. Too painful. All from a conversation about finding your fated mate. Maybe avoiding the new girl was a better idea.
I returned to my office without the coffee I needed so badly and continued with the work that I needed to do. Processing all the files that Caleb had given me to do on his behalf. Never mind them being glad when that new baby arrived, I would be too, so that my additional duties would be gone. I would have that extra time to be out running, allowing Zion his extra freedom he so frequently craves to escape the day-to-day stresses and to take his pain out on some unsuspecting rogues…
Hour after hour passed as I sat focused on the work in front of me. Determined not to allow myself to fall asleep. Determined not to allow the thoughts of Isla take over my mind. Despite. that, her name was not far from my thoughts. And the
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persistent pain within my chest reminded me of why I was here. Why i could not go to sleep. I could not witness the pain of losing her all over again.
Suddenly, the office door opened and I looked up, irritated that whoever it was had not bothered to knock. One of my major bug bears. This was my office. Would it hurt them to knock?
However, Caleb walked in, looking bright and breezy. Something I felt so far from it was unreal…
“Morning Ash.” He greeted me with a smile, then as he looked at me, he frowned. “**it bro, you look like you haven’t slept, are you okay?!”
Hmmm… I wonder… little did my friend know I hadn’t slept, but he also didn’t need to know that. I didn’t need him to have anything else to worry about on top of his wife being in the hospital. I know he worried about me and my m**l state sometimes, and I don’t need to be an extra cause of concern for him right now. That was the last thing he needed right now.
“I am fine. A lot of work is all.” I said with a shrug. “Been up early.”
“Early? It is 7 now, what time you get up?” Caleb questions, a suspicious look upon his face. F**k… did he know?
“Not sure. I was awake early, so I thought I was best getting a head start.” I lied.
I
“You sure about that? Because I am pretty sure they are the clothes I saw you in yesterday.” Caleb says with a frown. ” You haven’t been to bed again, have you, Asher?” This time he sounded angry.
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“Caleb I a fine. Give it a rest.” I snapped.
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“No. This is not okay, Ash. Things are difficult enough as they are right now. With Eden laid up, I don’t need you burning yourself out. You know you need to be careful. What is wrong? I thought things were okay? Are you struggling again?” Caleb’s face was full of concern and I hated myself for adding more pressure and worries to the shoulders of my friend. He does not need this right now and I know it
“Caleb, I said I was fine, so will you just take my f**g word for it for a change?!” I said bluntly. “You know ever since I lost Isla my sleep has been knackered. It was a bad night is all, so I decided to make use of the fact I couldn’t sleep and do some work, okay? I do it fairly often. It is of no major issue, so stop making it one. It definitely isn’t something you need to be concerned about.”
“It isn’t healthy, Asher.” He snapped.
“Well I ain’t dead yet Caleb.” I snarled.
“Should I ask your Dad to take over your duties for a little while, so you can take a break?” Caleb suggested, and instantly Zion was rippling beneath the surface, anger pulsating through my body. How dare he imply I am not capable of doing my Beta role because I struggle with the loss of my mate: Because I struggle with sleep. Yet the cheeky f**k**r was quite happy to offload all the mediocre tasks he couldn’t be bothered to do himself…
“Are you for real?!” I found myself roaring, knowing then Zion was involved now too. This was not going to end well if Caleb got angry.
Caleb raised his brows at me, “Really?” he snarled. “Do I not
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have the right to be concerned for my friend and if I think your aren’t able to do your job, then too f**g right I am for real, Asher.”
I pushed my chair back angrily, so I was standing. Zion was so close to shifting now, but I knew the moment he did that Thor, Caleb’s wolf would be shifting too, and all hell would break loose. My office would be destroyed and the two of us would be seriously injured. Like the last time we fought… Caleb was needed right now… he did not have time to recover from a full- on fight… as much as I wanted to kick his a**, I fought hard to push Zion back.
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“Why am I not able to do my job, Caleb? Have I not been doing everything expected of me and more?” I said a little more calmly this time, so he could see I was not as angry, I needed him to see my anger was under control…
“But this not sleeping and being on edge all the time isn’t normal, Ash. Can you not see that? Did you see the pack doctor like I asked? Or the therapist?” Caleb asked softly. I know he was desperate for me to seek grief counseling after the loss of my mate. Why he thought that would help me I don’t know. Sitting in a room with some randomer discussing how much it hurt to lose my mate, and analyzing all the things that came with it… no that was not for me… I would rather stab myself in my f**g eyes with a needle. It was not going to help me. Not in the slightest.
“Sleeping tablets were the treatment option from the doctor.” I told him. “And I am not relying on medication.” Besides, it isn’t that I can’t sleep, I added silently within my mind, knowing I cannot share this with my friend… It is just that my sleep is plagued with visions of my mate. Losing her. Reliving the pain
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as she leaves me. Waking me in floods of tears… or sweating, desperate to try to save her… yet can’t… having to relive her loss all over again… all on repeat…
“Therapy could work though, and you know it could, Asher.” Caleb began, but I gave him a dark look.
“Not going over this again. Not happening. Was there something you came in here for? If not, then I have work to do, you know, the work you should be doing, but I am doing for you. because I am a good Beta?” I snapped, knowing I am being a d**k, but he had irritated me that much I couldn’t help myself.
Caleb sighs, dropping himself on the sofa. “Eden wanted me to find out how the induction went is all.”
“Well, the new girl is still alive if that is what she needs to know. I didn’t eat her or lose her.” I smiled sarcastically at my friend.
Caleb chuckled. “I don’t think she thought you would. But, I may tell her you did just to see her reaction…” I see him thinking, so I can only imagine where his mind has gone.
“On your head be it, if you do.” I warned him, as Eden was grumpy at the best of times in a morning, even more so during her pregnancy.
“Seriously though, did the induction go okay? Bailey know all she needs about pack? You show her around all the pack? Please tell me you were nice to her?”
I rolled my eyes. Did they think I was incapable of being nice? I think I was nice… wasn’t I? I even gave her some sympathy… or tried… oh I don’t f**g know. I tried, that was the best she was going to get. It was the best I could do.
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“Yes. It went fine. She had a full tour of the pack. Full induction. Seemed happy enough. Starts Monday.” I explained, and Caleb nods.
“Eden is glad to have her here, she says she should be good for the school. New teacher, with new ideas. She seemed nice too, right?” Caleb looked at me, as if he waited for an answer.
What the hell did he expect me to say? She was a she-wolf I didn’t even know. Sure, she seemed okay… can’t say I even knew her, other than she seemed to have one hell of a messed- up past…