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Betrothed To The Mafia Lord novel Chapter 364

Sofia’s pov

“Are you sure?” He asked tentatively and I nodded my head instantly. I really am fine. I have no idea as to why I had began to tremble without even realizing it, but I really am fine.

As expected, Armani didn’t seem like he believed me, telling by how his eyes lingered on me some more before he finally nodded his head at him.

“As you must have figured out, I wasn’t the most confident kid, like Luca was since he was born. I was everything Luca wasn’t, and that angered our father so much.”

I held my breath as he continued.

“Our mother died shortly after having me. Our father believed in shaping kids into the right shapes for their future, and that was what he did to Luca, and Luca easily meet his expectations, unlike me.” He shot me a glance and I swallowed emptily, feeling a lump stuck in my throat.

“I was what you’d term a disappointment.”

A gasp flew past my mouth before I could stop it. “You’re not a disappointment.”

Armani let out a wary chuckle as he regarded me while nodding his head. “I know that now, but I didn’t know that before, and it fucked with my head so much.”

“I’m so sorry, Armani.” I whispered, meaning it from the bottom of my heart. Armani waved the words aside.

“It’s okay, I’m over it now. It was very hard growing up bsck then. Father was so tough on me but once Luca was strong enough to protect me, he stood up to our father and fought back.” My mouth fell open as he spoke, while so much awe fillled my mind.

“Even before he became strong enough, Luca protected me with everything in him as soon as he knew I never wanted to do a thing with the mafia and everything that had to do with it.” He exhaled harshly after that, it was obvious that he was thinking of those memories right now, which made me began to feel bad about bringing this topic up.

“It was a nightmare, my childhood. But, Luca made it so much more. He never knew this but I was so suicidal when I was growing up. I wanted to take my own life with the knife or guns which i was using to practice back then but I’d end up not doing it because I knew it would break Luca. I was all he had and he was all I had, I couldn’t bring myself to kill myself, because of him. And, once I stopped having to be involved in the mafia’s violence when Luca got strong enough to have the upper hand in that subject, the urge to kill myself slowly eased away.”

Tears brimmed in my eyes before I could stop it, and I wanted to reach out to Armani in order to comfort him, but I felt frozen in this spot and I could only watch through foggy eyes as he blinked multiple times in order to stop his own tears from falling.

“I’m so sorry, Armani.” I whispered, voice breaking as I spoke.

Armani exhaled a long sigh and tried to force a smile.

“It’s okay, I promise. Talking about it just gets me emotional sometimes.” He explained and of course I didn’t believe him. It wasn’t okay, it didn’t sound okay in any way.

“Perhaps we should stop talking about it?” I suggested after a few moments. Even though I was curious, it didn’t mean I want to see him revisit those bad memories of his childhood just because I was curious,

Perhaps that was why Luca hadn’t told me about it before, because it was way darker than what Armani had spoken about so far?

Armani breathed out a small laugh at that. “You’re so considerate, and I didn’t even really delve deep into all what actually happened in my childhood, there are so many really dark things that happened which I’m yet to talk about. All that I’ve talked about is child’s play compared to the rest of the things which I’m yet to talk about.”

“Don’t talk about it then. We don’t have to talk about it any longer.” I responded hastily, not just because it was going to be a lot for me, but also because I didn’t want him revisiting his past memories because of me.

He hummed a little before agreeing, which was more proof that I had been indeed right. On a normal day, he’d never have agreed to something that easily.

I picked up my pencil which I hadn’t even realized I had dropped as I spoke after a few minutes had passed.

“You can just tell me about your stay in Los Angeles.” I purposed and he had a thoughtful expression on for a moment.

“I can definitely do that.”

“That’s great then. You can start from how that place is. I love how the country looks in pictures and I’d like to see it in person.”

Armani and I continued to talk after that, and I made sure to continue to sketch his face out on the pad. We had to stop a few times in order for him to reposition his head in the right angle, but after that, the rest of the conversation went on quite smoothly.

“Would you like to ever go back there?” I asked as I got to my feet and walked over to keep the sketch pad on the shelf, it was what I was going to start working on tomorrow.

“To be honest, I’m not really sure. I don’t know yet, but I don’t think so, from all the thinking I’ve been able to do so far.”

I turned around after that till I was facing him.

“Any reason?” I asked.

“There are a lot of reasons, actually. But, the one that stands out the most is that I never really felt like I belonged there, you know?” He made to continue but the ringing of his phone cut him off. He gave me an apologetic look.

“I have to go right now, but we can definitely continue this conversation later.”

I chuckled a little. “Of course. You’ve kept me company long enough. Bye!”

~~~~~

I spent some time with Ryan later that day, on a walk once again. He held my hand at a point and confessed to me that that gesture brings him comfort, and I couldn’t deny it if I wanted to.

It made my heart flutter pleasantly.

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