Big Bad Wolfie novel Chapter 58

Damn rouges. All they know how to do is pray on the weak.

My aunt and uncle may have been strong fighters and the Seconds on our house, but ten rouges is a lot.

They were only two.

I sighed, letting myself feel only a portion of the real sadness. I'll let myself feel more when I have some time alone and when lives aren't at stake.

But damn.

More death.

More family. Gone.

More people to blame myself for the loss of.

And more life ripped from good people's eyes.

They weren't my favorite people in the world, but they were still good. Deep down, they cared about our house.

Besides, I feel like it's an unspoken rule you don't hold grudges against the dead.

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Jason's POV

I watched my girl closely as I fell slightly behind the group because of my injuries.

What hurts most though is my neck.

It f**king hurts it to wiggle my toes, I don't know how Ki did this to Maria.

'She was going to leave us.' He growled.

She was just upset.

'With you.'

Yeah, no kidding.

. . .I still can't believe you did it.

'Let's just stop talking about it,' he snapped ferociously.

I had to hold back a chuckle. But you sure got a taste of your own medicine, didn't you?

He barked angrily at me and receded back to the back of my mind, where he had been dwelling grumpily after the incident.

My attention was drawn back to Maria. She's been walking towards the outside of the group, keeping to herself.

It's odd. She was the one to start most of the conversations before.

Now that it's just empty space where her voice and laughter used to be, the gravity of the situation has invaded the air.

Now she's in her head.

And so is everyone else.

But I'm more worried about her.

I've come to the conclusion it's never good when she's in her own head.

It's a dark place in there, and I'm sure I haven't seen anything yet. But just by the nightmares that haunt her and the way she immediately assumed I was trying manipulate her by kissing her, I can tell she doesn't have the happiest thoughts.

I can admit some of my advances were rather manipulative(not that they worked). . . But all I was thinking in the moment I kissed her that day was making her feel better. Trying to lessen the pain.

And then I f**ked that up too.

I'm such a f**king idiot.

I should just call Master Apollyon and tell him the deal is off. My mate's been through enough pain, I don't need to add any more than I already have.

Maybe Maria and I's forces combined could actually take him when he retaliates for my breaking of our contract.

She seemed pretty confident she could help when she figured out he's the reason I took over her house.

'That puts both of our packs in danger. And we're already dealing with one serious threat. The hybrids. We don't need another.'

Oh, now you wanna be logical.

'Grr.'

I rolled my eyes and dropped it for now, knowing anything I say is gonna go in one ear and out the other.

I looked back to Maria and sighed.

That girl thinks too much.

I say as I'm arguing with my wolf.

But It's funny, because she can come off as not having a care in the world. I can see how on first glance she just seems charismatic, but reckless and immature, without a thought in her head. . . Mostly because that's what I assumed too.

But that's not it at all.

She thinks.

A lot.

And it's not what most girls her age would be thinking about.

Like my little sister for instance, only a year younger than Maria and all she has on her mind is if her new crush is going to ask her to the dance and what she's gonna wear to it.

While Maria's thoughts are of how to run a house, or win a war, or how this, or why that, or what if, or what does that mean.

Deep s**t like that.

But then she actually figures it out.

Because the Moon goddess decided to gift her some serious intuition along with some genius.

Why she gave her to my dumb @ss, I have no idea.

Seriously because then she turns all the smart thoughts in her head into words, and when someone disagrees, "Why?" She challenges.

'Mhm, she even questions superiors.'

Well, she is a pure blood. In the natural order of things, she doesn't have superiors.

'Grrrr.'

So moody.

I eye Maria and watch her think.

She doesn't show any emotion as she probably processes what we just stumbled upon. She's so beautiful.

I just hope when she's done she won't have come to the conclusion it's all my fault and never forgive me.

It is mostly my fault, though. . .

But I don't have time to hate myself for it. I'll drown in self loathing after the hybrids are dealt with.