(BL) Hunting The Field Guide novel Chapter 63

Chapter 63: Self-doubt is a silent killer

The Captain kept Kellen in his arms for quite a bit longer as they continued to chat about their shared past and other, sillier, things. Eventually, Kellen stopped leaking from his eyes and knew that they had overstayed their welcome in the borrowed room. The Captain’s clothes were in a horrific state, and Kellen felt awful about it. He’d forced the man to come with him to the disaster site, and then had a disaster of his own.

"I am so sorry." He told him, ashamed that he had cried so much and that he was covered in the evidence. Kellen went to stand, almost worried that the Captain wouldn’t let him. The Captain did, and Kellen began to pull on the jacket he’d forgotten to pull on since Taylor had thrown shakes at him...and everything else. Kellen ducked his head, only to hear the Captain tsk loudly. He gently tilted up Kellen’s chin to meet his gaze. HIs face was still soft as he looked over at the younger man.

"Never apologise for relying on me. I love when you do that. I always want you to know you can come to me for comfort." His eyes crinkled up as he smiled. Kellen felt mesmerized. "And, if you’re so concerned about the state of my clothes, let me show you a little trick." He gestured to his jacket and shirt, drawing Kellen’s attention there before he waved his hand and his clothes were back to their previous condition. Almost like they were brand new. Kellen was stunned.

"You just..." He nodded, grinning.

"Exactly. So never worry about it." His smile became a little wicked. "So if you ever get a little extra excited when we’re alone and in uniform, I can easily clean us up. Well, I might not want to, but I know you get embarrassed easily." He’d been doing such a good job until now. Kellen felt his face heat, and thoughtlessly, he smacked the Captain’s shoulder. He laughed. "Still so shy, Mr. Woods. Most Guides I’ve known are bold and demanding. You turn red at the slightest suggestion." Kellen stiffened. The Captain was trying to put a mark on his honour as a Guide.

"I can be like that too, Captain, but it’s different with you." The Captain blinked, before a devilish grin crossed his face and he approached Kellen. He’d previously given the Guide a small amount of space, but was quickly taking it away. Even though Kellen had just spent a long time sitting in his lap, he now felt he was in more danger with the Captain closing in on him.

"Why is it different with me?" He asked, and Kellen swallowed. Why was it so different with the Captain? He’d blurted out the words, but never really thought about the reason he felt that way. Kellen also hadn’t lied when he’d told the Captain that he could be bold and demanding either. He remembered bullying Espers into guiding, hell, he did it to the Captain too. But something had changed recently. Kellen swallowed again.

"I-I don’t know. Something just is different. I’m...always worried about you. It must be because you’re my pair." He said, and the smile that touched the Captain’s gaze did something to Kellen’s insides. His stomach was doing backflips.

"I’m going to kiss you, and you aren’t allowed to guide me." The Captain warned before his lips touched Kellen’s. It wasn’t the level of kiss that the two had agreed upon when they had first tested out kissing. Instead, it was a much softer level, similar to level one. The Captain’s lips coaxed Kellen’s’ into wet, soft kisses. He held the Guide close, but his grip wasn’t bruising. Kellen’s heart was racing in his chest, and without his head going numb from guiding, or the power of liquor, he could feel everything. Kellen was nervous, unsure, and not used to this style of kissing. It left him wanting...more. Something deeper. The Captain, who enjoyed Kellen squirming, noticed something was different. He was also able to guess what the problem was. Kellen could feel his chuckle against his lips. When the Captain pulled away, a soft, teasing smile was on his lips. "What’s wrong? I don’t think you dislike my kisses, or else you would have brought me to my knees. But you are wiggling around quite a bit." Kellen was never going to tell him. He was going to take it to the grave considering the smug reaction from the Captain. If he told him, he would never live it down.

"I don’t dislike your kisses, but we have a lot to do today, and we’ve already overstayed our welcome here." He told him, not exactly lying, but not telling the full truth either. The Captain watched Kellen’s face, glancing down the rest of his body and chuckled. He gave Kellen a squeeze before letting him go.

"As long as you admit you don’t dislike my kisses." He stated with a happy smile, before turning and unlocking the door. He opened it, holding it open for the Guide and motioning for him to exit first. "Let’s stop by Green’s office on the way out to see if she can speed up the recovery of your eyes." He suggested, and Kellen nodded, adjusting his jacket again before exiting. The Captain took his hand quietly, not making a big deal of it and Kellen cleared his throat, but didn’t release the hand. As the two continued down the hallway, Kellen had a thought.

"I know this is a little random, but once we hear more about the new gate, we should invite Brent along to that meeting as well. He was on the front lines not too long ago and he might have more insight into the situation than we do. Plus, he has the same amount of knowledge as I do, and he also specializes in fluctuating gates that disappear after you destroy the core." The Captain seemed impressed.

"And you specialise in stable gates, correct?" He confirmed and Kellen nodded.

"That’s another reason Brent and I made a good team. We could do or be whatever the client wanted." The Captain nodded, seeming to be thoughtful.

""I should have realised you wouldn’t have worked with anyone sub par, but Guide Jameson is more impressive than I thought. Especially if he was able to keep up with you." The Captain’s words were genuine, and that only made Kellen blush more. That was a very nice thing for him to say.

They arrived at Taylor’s office door and the Captain knocked. Kellen could hear the clatter on the other side of the door before Taylor swung it open. She had a shiteating grin on her face before she saw Kellen’s. She gasped, pulling Kellen into the office while the Captain let her, closing the door behind them.

"Don’t scare him like that. I just promised him I won’t leave his side. If you tell him something like that he might cry again." Kellen felt his jaw drop. The Captain wasn’t joking, wasn’t kidding, and was, in fact, being quite serious with his words. Taylor, who had been in a jovial mood, dropped it immediately.

"Is this from the side effects? Is this a new development? Kellen, why would you be worrying about that? The Captain is an S Class Esper, there is very little that could harm him without his consent." Kellen felt betrayed. How could the Captain reveal that to Taylor? He shot the Captain a dirty look, and the Esper seemed confused by the hostility he felt from the Guide.

"It’s not a side effect. I just...it’s not a side effect." Kellen admitted stiffly, and Taylor narrowed her eyes. She turned her gaze to the Captain, before looking back at her friend. Kellen had crossed his arms, closing himself off from the conversation, from the situation, and she took note of that. She also noticed how Kellen hadn’t wanted the Captain to tell her. "Kellen, a few notes before I need to kick you out of here. I do seriously have dinner plans with my parents, and you know how rarely they are in town. That. Being. Said." She reached out, pinching the Guide on the cheek, her eyes beginning to glow green again. "You better keep yourself in perfect form while I’m gone, or I will follow your ass around. Your existence is very important to the Guild, as a symbol, and as a person." Kellen swallowed as she glared at him. "You’re also my friend, and I don’t like it when you’re not well. Physically or otherwise." Kellen was sure that Taylor meant the words she said, and he believed her. But Taylor was unpaired, and career focused. For now. Who was to say what would happen when she decided to settle down with her pair and probably left the Guild, and wouldn’t want to hang out with Kellen anymore? He was probably just her token Guide friend. Kellen gave her a soft smile.

"I’ll do my best, Taylor. And I wouldn’t hate it if you followed me around, it would mean we could hang out more." She gave Kellen a serious, angry look. Her glowing green eyes made her face look more severe.

"Kellen, you better fucking promise me. I’ve seen enough of you in my medical bay this past week to last for three years. I wanted to say a lifetime, but I know you. You’ll be back in here again for some stupid, foolish reason. Why does it feel like I always have to remind you that your luck will run out? I just want you to be safe. Especially with this new gate, and the terrorist attack. You’d be the perfect target for a group like that." Her warning was understood, but her concern was unnecessary. Kellen wasn’t like most Guides, and it was also unlikely, given how possessive he had become, that the Captain was going to let him travel anywhere alone. Especially after his embarrassing display today. Taylor wasn’t budging though, until Kellen answered.

"Yes, I understand. I will do my best Taylor. That’s all I can promise." He told her with a grin. She narrowed her eyes, before they dimmed to her usual blue shade and she sighed. She pulled him in for a hug, much to his surprise, and then he was doubly surprised by the strength behind her hug. He hadn’t forgotten she was an A Class, but he had forgotten about the natural strength enhancement that came with it. She rubbed circles into Kellen’s back and Kellen did the same. It was comforting, and warm in a way different from the time he’d spent with the Captain.

"I will hold you to it." She warned, before releasing him. "You should get going now. I have about fifteen minutes before I need to be home, dressed, and ready." Kellen’s eyes widened before he rushed out of the office, herding the Captain as well, much to both of the Esper’s amusement. Kellen rushed her in locking up, before then rushing her towards the elevators. He even made sure she got to the lobby quickly, and Taylor only shook her head at his antics, her eyes bright. She blew kisses to him and the Captain as she raced out of the tower, on her way to meet her parents. The Captain and Kellen stood near the elevators, in the lobby, holding hands. Kellen glanced up at the Captain, trying to gauge his feelings in the moment, but found that the Captain was staring down at him, a fond look in his eyes.

"Shall we go see if your sister knows your parents are coming?"