Buying the Virgin novel Chapter 131

BETH

We return again a couple of hours later with Ross’ meal. Miracle-wise, in the short time, he’s put together a hot casserole, salad, fruit and cheese, juice and coffee; all in picnic-style containers, for easy eating in difficult conditions.

We hover at the room door. Michael isn’t there, but Charlotte is sitting on the edge of the bed, her back to us, holding the unconscious James’ hand, kissing his fingers.

She’s talking to him, and even though I can’t see her face, I hear the tears in her words.

“…. I know you always worried about being older than I am…. But I still thought we were going to have years and years together…. Now…. What am I supposed to do? With you like this? I love Michael too, but it’s supposed to be the three of us. Don’t leave me, Master. Please don’t leave me….”

She starts sobbing. It’s a gut-rending, heart-broken sound. Richard and I exchange glances. Even his eyes are filling.

We sit either side of her on the bed. I wrap my arms around her. Richard holds her hand.

Where’s Michael?

He appears at the door, towelling damp hair, sees us, with Charlotte, and visibly curses under his breath.

“Oh, Charlotte. I thought you were asleep….” Then to me. “Gotta use the bathroom sometime….”

“We brought food for you.”

“That’s great, thanks. Charlotte. C’mon, eat.”

“Ross cooked it. It’s his mother’s recipe chicken-casserole….” I say.

Her voice is numb. “I’m not hungry.”

“Yes, you are.” insists Michael. “You just think you’re not.”

She makes no move towards the food, which even I, accustomed as I am to Ross’ good cooking, have to admit smells wonderful.

Charlotte won’t look at it. Her face works, as though she’s suppressing the urge to vomit.

Michael pushes the casserole at her insistently. “Charlotte, eat.” Still, she doesn’t make a move. “Charlotte. James would want you to eat it.”

That finally does it. She picks up a fork and takes a small mouthful, chewing endlessly, forcing it down.

Richard catches Michael’s eye, gesturing him out into the corridor. Michael looks across at me. “I’ll stay here,” I say.

He nods, following Richard.

After a few minutes, they’ve not returned, but Charlotte is drooping. “You should sleep.” She nods but doesn’t speak.

“Let me get you into bed. You’re right next to him. You can watch him from there.” She nods again.

I help her into bed, fully clothed still, tucking her in like a little girl. Almost instantly, she drops off. I wait for a minute or two, to be sure she’s asleep, then look out into the corridor. Michael and Richard are there, talking quietly.

“You think we should get her sedated?” asks Richard. “Or perhaps away from here? It can’t be doing her any good, seeing him like that.”

Michael shakes his head. “I don’t think sedation is the answer. Whatever happens, she’s going to have to deal with it. I think it’s better just to have the people she loves around her. As for taking her away; I don’t think you’d get her out of there with a bulldozer…. Beth! You’ve left her alone?”

“She’s asleep.”

He looks angry, pushing past me, back into the room.

Charlotte is still there, sleeping, but is now in James’ bed, lying next to him, one hand resting against his face.

A doctor arrives, white-coated and efficient looking. He spots Charlotte in the bed, and for a moment, surprise, then disapproval, washes across his face.

“You want us to get her out of there?” asks Michael.

The doctor hesitates, then shrugs. “Strictly, I should say yes, but on the other hand, if he can feel or hear anything, I don’t know of a better way to remind a man what he has to live for.”

*****

CHARLOTTE

I’m trying to sleep but can’t. Michael has his arms around me and drifts between sleeping and waking. From his breathing, I’d say he’s sleeping right now.

Blurry-eyed, my head aching from too much crying, I watch my Master. He’s close, all but next to me after Michael pushed the two single beds together.

His eyes blink open.

He’s not focussed, his stare glazed, not fixing on anything.

But he’s waking.

I push back to my sleeping lover. “Michael! Michael!”