Capo Dei Capi (Secrets of the Famiglia Part 1) novel Chapter 28

“Yo Yana, things aren’t looking too good. I’m being followed, I’m going to park my car and jog to Di’s house then head back to you guys. I’m tired of the lies Yana, we should tell the guys the truth when I get back. They might become a target too. I'll face the consequences. Get Elisa far away from here soon. I’m” He stops, his breathing defeated, “I’m so sorry, Yana, I don’t know why it happened. I’m so sorry, I don't know why I did it... Yana.” Message ended

The urge to play it again grips me hard, but I refrain as Gabriel, Mero, and Michel stand by my bedroom desk, the phone- Our sole object of attention.

“So, you were just going to hide it from us?” Michel barks, his voice hitting me like a rod against my cheek. His once calm facade now filled with murderous intent.

There are times when I wish I could take it all back, the hurt, pain, and evilness that lives within us.

But nothing is going to bring him back. No amount of sorrow, tears, or honesty.

"Ren is gone."

"Gone or not. What the fuck happened, Capello?" Michel yells.

I have never seen him so enraged, I've never seen him so scared either.

"What happened is not going to change the outcome of anything," I warn him, but I don't know who I'm trying to convince him or myself?

Pain and loss- There is heartache in that. And the sorrow when someone dies - it's felt deeper when that someone is somebody you love.

It gets worse when that person is such a deep-rooted part of you, that you feel a large portion of yourself has died with them.

"I never wanted any of this to happen," I confess in a hollow voice I have become accustomed to these last 2 days.

"Yet, you let it happen," Gabriel accuses me, in a quiet timber voice.

I am too scared to look at Mero and Gabriel, afraid I would find the same look currently on Michel's face mirrored on theirs.

There are times when I regret my choices, times when I wish to take back my words, my actions, and one of them is this, a secret that got spun out of control.

I close my eyes, my throat thick as the saliva stuck in it remains seated, like an irritant pesticide.

“It wasn’t up to me,” I defend myself. Lies come easy in situations like these.

Gabriel grips my jaw, lifting my chin to meet his cold expression. I see the betrayal in his gaze, but the deeper I search, I witness the understanding too, before pity and disappointment. Sometimes it isn’t such a blessing to know someone so well that all they feel is stuck inside of you.

“That’s the thing Liya, it’s always up to you.” Gabriel drops his hand from my chin. The touch of his fingers, his displeasure stings my skin even after his back turns to me.

"Not this time." My confession makes me weak. But it is true.

Gabriel sits on the bed, far away from where I am currently standing. Holding his head in his hands and just remaining there. I never wanted this, no, never.

“Either way, we need to know now. What was the big secret?” Mero asks, and his voice may be calm, but I know he is anything but.

My mouth begins moving as my mind drifts to the day that changed so much.