Chasing His Kickass Luna Back novel Chapter 31

Abby

I feel him tense the moment the words leave my mouth. I want to take them back as silence stretches between us. He doesn’t seem to know what to say, and I avoid looking up at him. His hand falls off my shoulder.

“No, but I’m guessing you do if you’re bringing it up.”

“I mean, maybe a little.”

He removes his arm from around my shoulder and moves to the side. I sit up and turn to look at him. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea. There’s a blank look on his face, and I can tell he’s trying to hide his emotions from me. It doesn’t take a genius to guess that I hurt his feelings.

I force myself not to play it off. This is something that’s been bothering me for a while now. If we’re going to get married, we need to be able to talk about it.

“Go on,” he says.

I swallow. “I just… I feel like we don’t try new things,” I blurt out. “Everything is always the same. It feels like we’re just going through the motions, working toward the end goal, when we should be passionate and loving.”

“So you’re saying I’m not good at sex?” Adam asks, his voice beginning to sound a bit defensive.

I shake my head. “No, not at all!” I reassure him. I reach for him, but he pulls away, and I swallow again. “I’m just saying that I’d like to try new things with you. I… I don’t know. God, I wanna feel like I’m in a movie sometimes! Like you just can’t keep your hands off of me! I want to feel wanted, like I’m really yours, you know?”

Adam frowns and folds his arms across his chest. “No, I don’t know,” he says. “I thought that our sex life was perfectly fine, and now you’re saying that it’s not good enough.”

“It’s not that it’s not good enough,” I say. “I just worry that we’re gonna get married, and we’ll turn into one of those old married couples who never touch each other.

There’s a long, palpable silence between us. Both of us can only stare at each other incredulously before Adam finally speaks up. When he does, I can feel my heart sink.

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” he bites out, his jaw tense.

I wring my hands. “I just think maybe our sex life isn’t as exciting as it could be. And sex is really important to me, so…”

“Wow, okay.” He stands up before I can finish, crossing his arms over his chest. I look up at him. This couldn’t be going any worse. “I didn’t realize I was such a bore.”

“I didn’t say that.”

He shakes his head. “You didn’t have to.”

“Come on, don’t take it personally.”

“How am I supposed to take it?” he yells, making me jump. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him yell before, but I clearly struck a nerve.

“You don’t need to get so upset,” I say. “I’m just trying to tell you how I feel. We should be able to communicate about these sorts of things, right?”

Without an answer, he shakes his head and stalks out of the room, grabbing his jacket on the way. I jump up and follow him. He puts on his shoes.

“Don’t leave,” I say, reaching for him. “It’s not a big deal, really.”

He shakes me off. “I’ll see you later,” he says. He can’t seem to look at me.

…

I hand Leah her drink and sink into the booth across from her. We’re having another girl’s night. I’ve been in desperate need of them lately, and luckily Leah is almost always down to go out for a few drinks. Chloe was too tired after work, but she made me promise to fill her in immediately.

“They make a good Sex on The Beach here,” she says, sipping from her drink.

I gulp down some of my sangria. “I can’t stand them,” I admit.

“You have questionable taste sometimes.”

I give a dry laugh. “Don’t I know it.”

Not only do I still need to deal with the whole Karl and John situation, but I haven’t heard from Adam since last night. I feel bad if I hurt his feelings, but that doesn’t mean he should just disappear. It makes me nervous, and a little frustrated. Is he going to leave me over one conversation? Should I just not have said anything and let the feeling grow and grow until I started to resent him?

“What are you thinking so intensely about over there?” Leah asks, her eyebrows raised. I stir my drink and shrug my shoulders. “Work stuff. Men stuff.”

“You’ve been going through it lately.”

“I know.” I shake my head and drink more. “Why does everything have to go to shit all at once? I don’t have the energy to juggle Karl and Adam and my restaurant.”

“Franky, Karl needs to figure his shit out. Your restaurant will be fine, I promise. And something tells me I’m missing something with Adam? I thought things were peachy. Aside from the whole boring sex thing.”

“Well, I brought that up to him.”

“Oh?” She leans forward. “Something tells me that didn’t exactly go well.”

“Not exactly. I told him I think our relationship could use more passion. He took it pretty personally. I think I really hurt his feelings.”

She shakes her head. “Oh, you for sure did.”

“He stomped off, and I haven’t heard from him since.”

“What a prima donna.”

“Am I the asshole here? Should I have just kept it to myself?”

“I mean, you’re not the good guy, but you’re not the bad guy either. Sometimes you have to be honest with your partner, even if it sucks.” Leah is the queen of those who can't do, teach. She’s never had a long-term relationship, but she gives the best advice.