Chasing the rejected Luna novel Chapter 38

The emotion left as soon as I realized what it was. But I had seen it so briefly I wondered if it weren't my eyes playing tricks on me. 

I knew it wasn't by the way he cleared his throat and looked down. I couldn't see it clearly but he looked flushed and I remembered the conversation at hand. He asked me to be his mate. 

At first thought, it didn't make sense. But looking closely at it, it made perfect sense. First I was the last descendant of the moon goddess who is blessed with so much power I couldn't even begin to fathom what I was capable of. 

And most times, the thoughts scared me. But not scaring me to the point that I have to force some information out of my overly silent wolf. I thought about doing it on a certain day when the questions swimming in my head were too much to handle. And just like she always does, she kept mute at the question I had thrown her way. 

"It has to be you," he said, not giving anything away. It was as if he didn't want me to know. 

I looked up at him and found him looking at me. The remnant of what lay before was gone. And in it was a blank look. It was a look filled with so many things yet so little things. 

I swallowed and wanted to ask a question but changed my mind and asked another instead, "I don't understand what you mean. Do you just want to make me your Luna because of what I am and not who I am?"

"No."

"Then does it have anything to do with how you feel about me? Don't lie to me. I knew you didn't care about me," I said the truth while it pulled at my heart painfully. 

"You don't know me. And you don't know how I feel either," he said, his eyes almost boring holes into mine. 

"Then tell me. How do you feel about me?! I certainly know it isn't love. If it isn't then what is it? Do you just want me to be your Luna because of my importance to your pack?" 

I watched his Adam's apple bubble up and down but his face remained as expressionless as a sheet of paper. 

"No," he said and looked into me. 

I felt bare before him. "Then tell me, why do you want me to be your Luna?!"

"Because I love you! Alright?" He screamed at me, his eyes widening and his jaw twitching violently. I could tell that had been difficult for him to say as my eyes widened to the size of saucers. 

"Because I love you. I've always loved you since the moment I set eyes on you. Why do you think I approached you?" He asked me and I kept mute. He continued. 

"It's not what you think. I never knew you were the last descendants of the moon goddess. I loved you for you. The girl I saw was an innocent scared girl who needed protection from this cruel world. And everyone was lying to you. Was lying to your face. And I couldn't stand that. I needed to take you out of there where your innocence couldn't be tainted."

I shook my head, stopping him. I knew he had more to say as his chest rose and fell with the words he had spilled out. That was the first I heard of Alpha Ryven saying so many words at the same time. But out of everything he said, my ears only caught two things. 

First, he loved me. I found it hard to believe because of the way he treated me when I came into his pack. And secondly, the part he spoke about people lying to me. 

"What do you mean people were lying to me?" I whispered, somehow afraid of knowing the truth. Something in me knew he would tell me. I could see in his eyes how he wanted to come clean with everything that had been happening. 

Maybe it was the soft glow of his eyes as they shone that night. Or the way his lips were set and a little hardness to his eyes. He was mad. Mad at something I couldn't even fathom about. 

"The Beta's wife. I promised myself I wouldn't tell you this so you wouldn't be hurt. But I won't live with myself happily knowing you trusted the people who were supposed to be your enemy." 

"What are you talking about?" I asked again. This time, with fear and anticipation holding me hostage. 

He shook his head, breaking eye contact with me. He looked out the window. I could see the shadows under his eyes. He was tired. I believed he hadn't slept for days. Something was eating him up. 

"The Beta's wife. She killed Rudolph." He said and the room was doused in pin-drop silence. I could no longer hear the wind as they picked up outside because of the beating of my heart against my ribcage. 

"You're joking," I laughed and looked away from him toward the book in my hand.