Chapter Seventy Nine
I didn’t exactly call for Sarah just so she could help me draw a bath.
“Luna.” Sarah addressed, bowing. “The Alpha informed me that you requested my presence.‘
“Yes. I wanted to ask about the girl… the little one Alexander brought from the Gray Moon Pack.”
I caught the slight hesitation on her face before she answered. “Her name is Amanda.”
“Beautiful name for a beautiful girl. How has she been recovering?”
“She’s doing very well, better than I ever expected, actually. She’s blending in with the other kids, which is nice- she should be around people her age and…” Sarah kept talking. I couldn’t help but smile.
“You seem to have grown a fondness for this girl.”
“I… I just feel sorry for her; I want to protect her in any way
“Sarah, you know you can tell me anything.” I reminded her, and she nodded.
“Of course. It’s just that I don’t know if you’ll approve.”
“Approve of what?”
“I had taken her back to my apartment; she has been living with me–I didn’t ask for your permission; it’s just that she is such a nice kid, and I want to help her. I should have spoken to you earlier about this, but I didn’t. I was also thinking about adopting her as… my child. I know that sounds stupid; she had her own parents and her pack, and it’s wrong to…”
“No it’s not.” I said cutting her off. It doesn’t sound stupid, nor is it wrong. I can tell that you really like this girl, and I can see no other person fit enough to take care of her but you. I only have two conditions. First, I would have to speak to her if this is what she wants, and secondly, you would have to promise me to take good care of her and protect her; she has indeed been through a lot.”
Sarah nodded eagerly. “Of course, I promise, and you can speak to her anytime you are free to.”
“Then it’s settled; you have my permission.”
Sarah smiled. “Thank you, Luna. I never imagined myself becoming a mother, but then I saw her, and there was not a single thing I wanted more. Have you ever thought about what holding a child of your own would feel like?” she asked, and her question hit me by surprise. Strangely, I haven’t thought deeply into it. Yes, I knew it was bound to happen, but I hadn’t imagined what motherhood meant.
“I haven’t thought about it–at least not in that way.” I said.
“It’s a beautiful experience.”
“I’m sure it is,” I agreed. But whenever I imagined having children, I didn’t feel ready. When would I be? Surely not now. “I’ve been having unprotected sex…” I trailed off, realizing I was speaking out loud.
She nodded. “The chances of you getting pregnant soon is pretty high.”
I wasn’t ready. It felt like the final line–the last straw that sealed the end of my dream of becoming an Alpha. By now, I knew that dream was out of reach, yet having children felt like closing the door on something I had wanted for as long as I could remember.
“I am not ready to have a child.” I said to her, “Does that make me a bad person?”
“Of course not. Children… They come with responsibilities, total devotion. It’s alright to not be ready.”
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