Crises in Love (Zora and Jaylan) novel Chapter 251

In the instant he neared closer and closer, I suddenly pushed him away, hastily turned around, flung open the door and escaped as swiftly as my legs could carry me.

I could hear my heart pounding like a drum!

My legs felt weak and shaky. This abrupt escape, for some reason, left me with a pang of regret. Why did I push him away? Was it because the unfamiliarity of his face, or his sudden display of affection that was too abrupt, or a grudge that I was unable to let go, or perhaps the resentment towards his abrupt departure years ago...

I didn't know, but at that moment, I felt inexplicably helpless. I even wanted to run back and throw myself into his arms to vent my pent-up emotions.

If he hadn't left without saying goodbye, without uttering a single word, would I have ended up in my current state?

Even if he had given me a glimmer of hope back then, I wouldn't have shifted my affections! You must know, back then, my heart was filled with him. His sudden dropout and subsequent disappearance left me in despair.

I was full of him, filled to the brim. But suddenly, he was gone, nowhere to be found. Only I knew how much pain I was in. If not for my childish intention to revenge him, why would I went for Jaylan Dawson?

Back then I foolishly thought, “you didn't want me getting close to Jaylan, right? You said he wasn't my type, right? You said this man wasn't reliable, right? I was determined to get close to handsome Jaylan, as a declaration of war.”

I thought that by doing so, he would definitely come back. But he disappeared for twelve years, vanished into thin air.

I gave a bitter laugh, choked back a sob, and now when I think back, can I blame him?

Even though he left abruptly back then, he never rejected me, never said he didn't love me. I only have myself to blame, for being whimsical, capricious, seeking comfort in Jaylan, leading myself into an irreversible situation.

That regret, from the moment I saw him again, tormented me, especially his unfamiliar face, and the bracelet on his wrist that I gave him, that he would never take off.

I have no right to blame him anymore, especially considering his extraordinary secret identity.