Critic novel Chapter 87

At Jerry's office...

I can hear a loud laughter which is a familiar voice. It's a long time since I last visitted Jerry on his office. I have nothing to submit to him today. I just want to see him at his work place. Lisa is on his working table drinking a glass of wine while laughing unseizingly.

"Whoah is there a celebration? Am I in a wrong timing?" I obviously disrupted their conversation when I get in.

" You can join us. Come and have some drink." Jerry offered.

Lisa suddenly shit up as she sees me.

" I didn't know you are back to being friends with Lisa. So she's back working here?"

"Yeah that's right." Jerry answered shortly.

"What?" I can't believe Jerry will let Lisa work to him since he know I have history with Lisa.

"You heard me right. Lisa is my talent now. Her contract to your agency expired a month ago so she is with me now."

" The thing is, I don't want her here." I ordered Jerry.

" Tara, I own this company 100 percent you have no say on my decission." Jerry said direct to my face.

"So be it! You want her out then she's out. She will be working on another project not written by you." Jerry then answered. She still chose Lisa over me. I can't believe it. I'm so disappointed of his answer.

"Are you choosing her over me?" I asked frustratedly.

"I'm not. Im just giving you what you want. But I can't let down Lisa right now. She needs to get back to work." I am out of words with what Jerry said. She's helping Lisa even though I obviously didn't give Lisa project in her last year of her contract to put her career to the lowest it can get. I hate this situation. This bitch can just do magic in an instant. She definitely did her trick on Mr. Aragon. Maybe with Jerry too. That's so irritating. I left that room hopeless. I feel betrayed by my own best friend, my partner in almost everything. I can't believe he will do this to me.

My world is spinning as I get out of the office. I don't know where to go. Go home to Jerry's house? That's so crazy, I don't wanna see him today. I went to the bar to chill a little bit. I need to clear my mind. I need alcohol to sanitize my mind contaminated with hate.

People are just passing in front of me. I don't care about this world. I'm connected to no one not even to my friend. I don't have true friend. I don't have a lover. I'm simply irrelevant. I want to vanish at this very instant. I brought alcohol back home. I went back to my flat. This place is full of ghost. But tonight I have to face them. I know I'm drunk and dizzy. My mind is flying but I can't go to sleep. My mind is tired but still rolling uncontrollably. How I wish someone is beside me right now, to hug me and kiss me, to tell me the things that really matters. But I got no one but myself. I tried my best to close my eyes hoping sleep to possess me but nothing happens. I feel miserable. I'm done crying. I'm done with self pity I don't wanna go back there anymore. I slowly remove my clothes and stayed under the blanket. Staring the ceiling in the middle of the dark room seems to be the best thing I can do right now. I hugged myself, only me can love me the way i want it. I can only rely on myself. I can't keep on depending to others to be happy. Unexpectedly one's own touch can be warm too. I started appreciating my own skin, my own warmth. I lowered my hand and brought myself to nirvana.