Cruel World novel Chapter 52

Theo

He was sleeping and was seeing the dream that he hate the most....his whole body was shaking, he can see himself in the dream...he can see Sarah....and he saw how he was hurting her...degrading her...but then he saw Sarah falls down ad there was blood so much blood.

Theo wake up , breathing heavily and shouted 'SARAH'

His whole t-shirt was covered with sweat....his eyes were moist with tear..he cursed 'fuck why i keep seeing this dream again and again....' he grabbed his hair in yanked them in anger

He get out of the bed and removed his shirt that was damped with sweat and went to take a shower...in the shower in put his head in the cold water and welcome the tinkling sensation that he felt.....he put his hand n the wall and close his eyes and keep on saying 'Sarah...Sarah please give me chance....i know i don't deserve you but please let me love you this time....'

Theo was damn serious when he said to Sarah he will give her the world if she gives him a chance...theo knew his guilt will be never gone. it's now a part of his existence but he realized that he loved Sarah so much...

He know no believe that...some say its his guilt his talking but in reality his guilt his awoken his suppressed feelings for his wife that he try to hide them. At one of his marriage he kind of knew he has fallen for her but never did he said it aloud....but the recent events when Sarah try to kill herself and that shock theo get made him realized that he lost the only good thing in his life.

Theo open his eyes and was determined if Sarah give him one chance and he doesn't mind if she put him behind the prison he will welcome it but if Sarah give him a chance that he desperately wants...he will make her his only....he will love her...he will give her the respect a husband should give a wife and more over he will protect her too and for that he has to change himself....

but how much? he thought ....his perception is changed but he know his anger still exit...he knew why but he never wanted to address that....that teenage incident always made him angry and helpless ...even thinking now made him to ruined this whole bathroom...but he keep his breathing neutral...no .....he need to talk and he need to change and he need to learn how to control his anger...even it's going to darkest past of his life...which was way before Tina death...

Theo gets out of the washroom and open his iPad and search for top psychologist of the city.

Sarah

Sarah feel good in a loose t-shirt and sweat pants...after getting a bath and new clothes she was feeling calm.

Sarah touched the chocolates that Ava got for her ...well technically it was Theo idea as Ava said 'Mama me want to bring dolly but daddy said you are big so you don't play with dolly...so daddy got your chocolates' Ava said with a pout

Sarah hesitantly looked at Theo...who was feeling shy and acting strangely very caring around her...sarah still don't get it what really he wants but thank god he kept his promise and brought Ava daily to meet her.

Sarah smiled at her daughter 'you can bring the dolly next time..we both will play' Sarah put her daughter in her lap and a pony tail of Ava long hair.

Ava then said something that shocked Theo and Sarah both 'mama why don't you come now....you not sick...me you and daddy can live together just like Olivia had a mama and daddy'

Sarah looks way and doesn't know how to answer her daughter innocent question...how can she explain her that her greatest daddy had ruined the perfect family idea long years again.

Sarah change the question 'now you haven't told me about our little Olivia'

And that made Ava to forget her question and she tell everything about tom's daughter

At the end he give a phone to Sarah ..Sarah took it and looked him in confusion...theo clear it 'it's my personal number....you can call me if you need anything...i know you don't have a phone but i arranged that for you' he said with a firmed but gentle voice

Sarah glared him in anger 'so considerate of you of finally thinking i need a phone (she sarcastically said) then what you will do, after giving me phone you will take it whenever you want....then no thanks i can live without phone like i used to live without it for years'

Theo sighs 'you taking it in a wrong manner....Sarah( his guilty eyes were begging her) I'm trying to do something right may be in a little manner but I'm trying.... I feel like giving you phone will help you comfortable to reach or check Ava whenever you want and i can also feel good knowing how you are....i saved all my contacts here'

Sarah give the phone to him in disgust 'like i said no thanks...please don't try be concern for me...cause you are little late for that' she said in low voice

Theo try to control himself and nodes 'i know I'm so late...but I will keep on waiting for you to come with me and Ava' he walks and open the draw and put the phone inside the draw.

When they were gone as visitor timing was finished and the hospital doesn't allow small children to stay here any longer, Sarah kissed her baby.

Sarah was thinking deeply ...what should she do....a chance theo wants that Sarah knows she cant never give him....she will be fool if she did...but they way theo and Ava loved each other its scared her the most...days ago she was making plans to tell the police everything about theo and what he did and now she had Ava to taken into account.

She sighs in frustration and sit down on a hospital sofa....then mark came with a happy face 'Hi sister how are you feeling now'

Sarah gives him a timid smile and softly said 'good...actually quite fresh too'

Mark excited raised his eyebrow 'that's great and you know what is great more ...you are getting a discharged in the morning'

Sarah also get happy and replied 'thank god i was getting frustrated here'

But Sarah saw Mark nervous expression too and then mark said 'actually they wanted to put you for few days as they want you to consult their hospital grieve and trauma department...they have a great psychologist..who helps people like you...but i told them that to made such arrangement in a close setting ...like a home...where you can speak comfortably'

Sarah shake her head tiredly and give her brother a painful smile 'i cant talk to anyone cause no one will understand my feeling my emotions and my pain and i think i will not kill myself when finally i got my Ava back...'

Mark got little angry 'but she is still not under your protection..she is still living in Greys house..and god knows whats happening with her....so Sarah my next question will be that when will you give your statement to police about your domestic violence if you can't talk about your feeling to a doctor who can really help you'

Sarah body shiver with fear...it was a slap on her face...Mark is right Ava is not with her...she just come with theo and then went along with him...even it's painful to accept but she knew her daughter love Theo more than her.

Tears, her favorite companion join her and made her more helpless....mark holds her hand and said to her 'Sarah in the day you have to talk...tell your inner emotions and I'm not pushing you now .....but the police thing... I have to push you in this...if you want Ava to live with you then you have to tell everything to police like very soon....cause Sarah believe me that Theo bastard told me he fights for Ava savagely....so your statement against him now will make our case strong' Mark try to make a point

But to Sarah he shows her something else....the power Grey hold, Sarah knew no one can win the, no one.

She gasped and think what if Theo really took her daughter from her for good...what if Ava starts hating her because she is taken her away from her father and put him behind the bar.

She feel the goosebumps she knew she can't live like this ...in fear of losing her child...she live a year ago and it made her fall very badly in the pain of hell

She shakes her head and said 'no'

Mark's eyes were stunned like he cants believe his sister 'no what Sarah?' he said in control voice