148 For Better or Worse?
(Winona)
My heart stops, the words hitting me like a physical blow. “You think I’m crazy?”
“I never said that,” he retorts. “I meant your reactions are not rational right now.”
“Oh, because you would know all about rationality, wouldn’t you? Having lived with your mother and Ashlyn, you wouldn’t know normal If it hit you in the head.”
Jayden’s eyes blaze with fury. “Oh, so now you’re the expert on normal, are you? I think I’m a pretty good judge of when someone needs professional help these days.”
“That’s rich coming from the guy who believed every lie Ashlyn told him,” I say, my voice dripping with sarcasm. “You were so quick to divorce me and marry her.”
I should stop but now I’m on a roll. “How do I know you won’t be as cruel to me again? I took the best part of two years trying to show you what we had. You never once gave me the benefit of the doubt. You were too busy thinking with your dick and bonking Ashlyn’s brains out.”
Jayden’s jaw tightens. “I was confused and manipulated. Can’t you understand that?”
“The whole world has to understand you Jayden. But you don’t give a rat’s ass about understanding anything when there isn’t something in it for you.”
I stand up, pacing the room. “What I understand is that you made me feel worthless. You humiliated me, Jayden. You shattered my heart into a million pieces, and now you get angry with me because I can’t forget it.”
He rises to his feet, stepping into my path. “And what about you? You’re so perfect, right? You never make mistakes?”
1 never tried to replace you!” I shout, tears streaming down my face. “I never threw our love away like it meant nothing!”
Jayden’s face is inches from mine, his breath hot with anger. “You are always the hero, Winona. Always.”
“Well, someone has to be!” I yell again, my voice cracking. “You took everything from me! My trust, my love, my dignity. And now you’re standing here, acting like I should just get over it?”
He grabs my shoulders, his grip tight. “What do you want from me? What will it take for you to finally forgive me?”
I pull away from him, my body shaking with rage and pain. “I don’t know, Jayden. Maybe if you stopped trying to control everything. Maybe if you actually listened to me for once.”
“I listen!” he yells, throwing his hands in the air. “But all I hear is you blaming me for everything that’s gone wrong in your life. And I’m sorry for what you had to grow up with, but none of that is my fault.”
“I never said it was,” I shouted back. “But your mother and Ashlyn made my life hell! You made my life Hell.”
Jayden’s face falls, and for a moment, I see the hurt in his eyes. But then it’s gone, replaced by a cold, hard mask. “Fine. If that’s how you feel, maybe we should just call it quits.”
148 For Better or Worse?
+25 BONUS
“Whatever.”
“Maybe we were never meant to be.” He rakes his hand through his hair. “Maybe you were right all along.” Suddenly I feel like the ground has been ripped out from under me. “You don’t mean that.”
Aren’t we supposed to be able to get through anything together. For better or for worse, that’s how marriage is. We can’t even survive engagement it seems.
“Don’t I?” he asks, his eyes boring into mine. “Right now, I think we’re just too broken to fix.”
I shake my head, tears blurring my vision. “No, Jayden. We just need to listen to each other and try to understand each other. That’s all I wanted you to do, understand that I need more time to work through some things.”
He steps back, his face a mask of pain and anger. “I need some
air.”
Before I can say anything, he storms out of the room, slamming the door behind him. The sound echoes in the empty house, leaving a deafening silence in its wake as I hear my front door slam shut
I sit on the bed, my heart pounding, tears streaming down my face. How did we get here? How did we go from being so close today to tearing each other apart? The pain is overwhelming, and I feel like I’m drowning in it.
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