209 Trying To Find Normal
(Winona)
I glance at Jayden, still sitting beside Ashlyn’s hospital bed, his eyes heavy with exhaustion. I know he doesn’t want to leave here but I can see the toll it’s taking on him. The dark circles under his eyes, the tension in his shoulders–it’s all too much.
He needs a break, even if he doesn’t want to admit it.
“Jayden,” I say softly, reaching out to touch his arm. “You need to take a break.”
He shakes his head, not even looking at me. “I can’t leave. What if something happens?”
“I understand,” I say, my voice gentle but firm. “But there’s not a lot you can do here right now. The doctors are taking care of Ashlyn and the baby. You need to take care of yourself, too. Just come home to see Abby and have dinner.”
He finally looks at me, his eyes filled with a mix of exhaustion and stubbornness. “I don’t want to leave.”
“I know,” I say, squeezing his arm. “But life is still going on outside of this hospital room. Come home, see Abby, take a shower… just breathe for a little while. If anything happens, they’ll call you.”
He hesitates, clearly torn. “I don’t know, Winona. I feel like I’m abandoning them.”
“You’re not abandoning anyone,” I assure him. “You’re just taking a break. You need it, Jayden. And Abby needs to see you, too. I still need to tell her about Grandma Lucy.”
He takes a deep breath. “You’re right. I’m not good as a zombie to anyone.”
“Exactly,” I say, feeling a small wave of relief. “Take a little time for yourself. I’ll gather up Cass and see if she needs to do anything before we go back.”
He looks at me, a hint of a smile on his lips. “You’re always looking out for everyone, aren’t you?”
“We’re looking out for each other,” I say with a smile. “Besides, I need Cass as much as she needs me right now.”
Jayden sighs, rubbing his hand over his face. “I’ll meet you back at home, then. I don’t want to be away from here, but you’re right. I need to see Abby.”
“Good,” I say. “We’ll see you back at the penthouse. I’m a little worried it might be overwhelming for Cass at the penthouse. I mean it’s a five million dollar place.
Jayden stands, stretching his arms. “I’m sure she’ll be fine.” But just as he’s about to leave, he turns back
to me.
“You know, Winona, maybe it’s you who has the problem with the penthouse.”
I blink, taken aback by his words. “I… well, maybe,” I admit, feeling a little defensive. “I’ve just never been comfortable with all the… wealth. It’s so… In–your–face
Jayden sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’m just over being judged for having money.”
“I know,” I agree. “It’s not about you being rich, Jayden. I’m just worried about how Cass will react, that’s
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200 Trying To Find Normall
all. But you’re right. I need to deal with it, too. I think I’m having trouble adjusting to my own bank balance. I just want to stay grounded.”
“I just want an uneventful life.”
Cass meets me in the hospital car park.
“I’ve been thinking… Maybe we should have Mom’s ashes spread somewhere. That might be the best
idea.”
“That sounds like a beautiful way to honor her,” I say, feeling a pang of sadness. “Mom mentioned she used to do some social work. Maybe there are people who know her who would like to say goodbye, too.”
Cass nods, considering my words. “Maybe. She always took me by bus to this place a wooded reserve with a river. She loved the fresh air there. It was her favorite spot.”
“Now you’re getting somewhere. That sounds amazing. Maybe we will contact her employer and put a notice in the local newspapers there?”
She nods. “I know you have a lot going on with Jayden but could we take a trip there together first? You might know if it’s a place where doing that is more suitable than me.”
I smile, reaching out to touch her hand. “I’d love that, Cass. It sounds perfect.”
“Yeah… and if it does work out in that place, later it can be our way of saying goodbye. Together.”
“Let’s go back to the penthouse. I’ll help you get settled. Tomorrow we can make some calls.”
“I’m looking forward to seeing Abby. But how do we tell her about… Mom.”
“It’s never easy and at Abby’s age, there will probably be a lot of questions. But Anne is there and Jayden is coming back for dinner. So, I think we all do that part together. Then we see how Abby deals with it. Kids are full of surprises.”
“I like that idea. What’s it like at the penthouse?”
We get
Into my car. “Well, if you thought my townhouse was flash, brace yourself.”
“It’s like the magazines then?”
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