213 A Quieter Future
(Winona)
I sit across from Jayden in the penthouse living room, the city lights flickering outside the floor–to–ceiling windows. The day has been long and exhausting, the week has, but somehow, sitting here with him, a sense of calm settles over me.
We’ve finished cleaning up from dinner with Cass, and Anne is sleepin settling off to sleep after the news we gave her over dinner.
in Abby’s room. Abby had trouble
I was so relieved when she finally closed her red–rimmed eyes after countless memories we shared about Mom since she’d come to live with us. I’m grateful we’ve had that time to have memories of her.
It’s heart–wrenching to see Abby’s little mind try and cope with the awful news. It’s late now and Jayden and I are chatting over a glass of port. The drink is warming, almost comforting with everything going on In our lives.
Jayden leans back on the sofa, his eyes searching mine. “I’ve been thinking a lot about the future.”
I nod, leaning in a little closer. “It’s hard to think too far ahead, isn’t it? With everything that we’ve had to deal with, I have no clue what’s going to happen next.”
“About us,” he says, “and about Abby, the baby. and Bobby and Sarah. I want you to know that I didn’t just come up with the idea on the spur of the moment.”
I’ve always loved those kids, and the thought of giving them a stable, loving home fills me with a sense of hope. But the fact remains that this is a lot and the types of emotional issues in those two kids can’t be fixed by just throwing money at it.
I need to be sure Jayden understands what he’s committing to.
than to bring them into our
“Jayden, you know I care about Bobby and Sarah, and I’d love nothing family. But it’s a lifelong commitment. You can’t change your mind a year from now. Do you understand that they need stability until their adulthood and after?”
He meets my gaze, his eyes filled with determination. “I know, Winona. I’ve thought about this a lot. I want to be their dad, well, a father figure to them, to give them that
ility. I’m ready for that.”
“I think that imagining a new baby in the mix makes us more sensitive to the ‘happy families‘ idea, but you need to be prepared that this neat little box in your mind may not be the reality.”
“Being a dad came as a surprise and I’ll admit it’s way more complicated than I’d thought. Well, I’d never really thought about it. But it sure does make things less black and white.”
“That’s for sure.”
“I mean, I know I don’t want Mother to come near my kids for my own reasons, but seeing Abby so upset, I’m not sure I can tell her she can’t see her ever again.
“Being a parent isn’t easy. It’s the most rewarding thing in the world, but it’s also the hardest. And with the -baby… you need to be prepared for the possibility that things might not go as we hope.”
Jayden’s face softens, and I can see my words sinking in. “I know,” he says quietly. “The thought of losing the baby… it’s been on my mind constantly. But I can’t let fear control me. I need to focus on what I want
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213 A Quieter Future
to do, on being the best dad I can be to all of them.”
I squeeze his hand, feeling a surge of love for this all–powerful billionaire
who’s trying so hard to get at fundamental thing in life right, being a good dad, even though he has zero examples of that as a child.
“You are already an amazing dad,” I say, my voice filled with conviction. “I just wish you could have been sooner. That I could’ve stood up to Judy and Ashlyn back then. But without you on my side, I felt I had no choice.”
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