219 A Breath of Life
(Winona)
The room is bright, too bright, as the surgical lights glare down on Ashlyn’s still form, her chest still rising and falling in time with the machine keeping her alive. Alive for this, this moment.
I pray the baby comes through. I stand beside Jayden, gripping his hand tightly, trying to be strong for him -for both of us. The tension is thick with worried nerves from the both of us, every second dragging on like an eternity.
Jayden hasn’t taken his eyes off Ashlyn’s face, his face set in a grim expression. He’s stroking her cheek, and
my heart is breaking for him. I know he’s trying to keep it together, but I can feel the tremor in the hand I’m holding.
I tighten my grip momentarily and then let go.
I take Ashlyn’s hand. “This is it, Ashlyn, the one thing you wanted. To see this baby make it. You asked me to adopt your baby. To keep the baby safe. I promise you I will always do that for you. Jayden and I will always do that.”
A single tear rolls down Jayden’s face onto his facemask. He once envisioned a life with Ashlyn, being a parent with her.
Of course this will break down his inner–strength. But what he doesn’t understand yet is how seeing. touching, holding this baby will rebuild that inner strength to something that can’t be broken, ever.
I pray he gets the chance to feel that, and it all isn’t taken away from him.
The medical team begins to move with practiced efficiency, their faces hidden behind masks, their voices calm but focused. The Ob–Gyn in charge, Dr. Harris, is a tall, no–nonsense woman who exudes an air of quiet authority.
There are several other medical staff including the neonatal pediatrician who introduced herself earlier, Dr. Diana Reeves. She will be taking over care of the baby from birth.
She glances up at us briefly, her eyes softening as they meet mine.
“You’re both doing great,” she says, her voice muffled by the mask. “Dr. Harris is almost done.”
Jayden nods, his whole body is clenched tight. I know he’s holding on to hope with everything he’s got, but I can see the fear in his eyes. The fear that this tiny life might slip away before it even begins.
I glance at Ashlyn, her face pale and serene, as if she’s already crossed over to another world. My heart hurts for her, for the friend she used to be, for the woman she could have been, and for the life she’s
losing out on.
But most of all, my heart aches for Jayden and the baby, for the uncertainty of what’s about to happen.
The silence in the room is deafening as Dr. Harris puts her hands inside the incision she’s made, and theri, suddenly, there’s movement. The surgical team springs into action, and in a matter of seconds, a tiny, fragile life is lifted into the world.
A boy. A son.
10 A Death of Li
+25 BONUS
But there’s no cry. No sound at all, Just an eerie, gut–wrenching silence.
My heart stops. I can’t breathe. I glance at Jayden, his face drained of all color, his eyes wide with terror.
I grab his hand and squeeze tight.
The doctor quickly hands the baby to Dr. Reeves, who rishes him to a table on the other side of the room. The seconds tick by, each one an eternity, as the team works frantically to get him breathing.
“Come on,” I whisper, barely audible, my voice choked with fear. “Please… please breathe.”
Jayden’s grip on my hand tightens to the point of pain, but I don’t let go. I can’t. I won’t. We’re in this together, and I won’t let him face this alone.
And then, finally, after what feels like a lifetime, a tiny, weak cry breaks the silence.
It’s the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard.
Jayden lets out a loud, long breath and I feel his body relax. Tears fill his eyes, and for a moment, he just stands there, trembling, as the reality of what’s just happened sinks in.
My tears are coming non–stop.
The nurse turns to us. “He’s breathing on his own now, but we’ll monitor him closely and he’ll go into the neonatal incubator. He’s very small, but he’s a fighter.”
Jayden nods, his eyes locked on the tiny, fragile form of his son. “Can we get closer?”
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