226 Sunday Is Here.
(Winona)
Sunday morning arrives with a heaviness that’s almost suffocating.
Jayden and I went through all the motions of a normal morning with Abby over breakfast. Then we both kissed her goodbye until later. Anne is planning a picnic lunch for them with Aunt Cass,
If only I could be there instead of here.
I’m standing just outside Ashlyn’s room, and the reality of what’s about to happen is sinking in. Today, Ashlyn’s life support will be turned off, and her chapter in our lives will come to an end.
Jayden is beside me, but there’s a distance between us that I haven’t felt in a long time. He’s quiet, his face set in a hard line, eyes fixed on the door in front of us. I reach out, touching his arm gently.
“Jayden, are you okay?” I ask.
He nods but doesn’t meet my eyes with his. “I’m fine, Winona. It’s just… I need to do this alone.
The words catch me off guard. Alone? Does he really want to face this without me? The doubts from yesterday start creeping back in, whispering in my ear that maybe he’s still holding onto something with Ashlyn.
Something that he can’t let go of, even now.
“Alone?” I echo, trying to keep the hurt out of my voice. “Are you sure? I can be there with you, if you want. You don’t have to do this by yourself.”
“Jayden finally looks at me, and the conflict in his eyes is clear. “I appreciate that, but… this is something need to do on my own. It’s not that I don’t want you there. It’s just… I need to say goodbye in my own way.”
I swallow hard, trying to understand. “Jayden, if you… if you still love her, it’s okay. I get it. She was a big part of your life.”
He shakes his head, frustration flashing across his face. “It’s not about love, Winona. It’s about closure. Ashlyn and I had something once, yes, but that’s over.”
“Okay. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to doubt you.”
“You’re the one I love. You’re the one I’m building my life with. But this… this is something I need to do to put that part of my life to rest.”
I nod, feeling foolish for letting my insecurities get the better of me. “I understand. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…
He cuts me off, taking my hand in his. “You don’t need to apologize. I get why you’re feeling this way. But trust me, okay? I’m doing this for us. To finally move on.”
His words ease some of the tension in my chest, and I squeeze his hand, offering him a small smile. Okay. I trust you.”
He kisses my forehead, a brief, tender gesture that tells me he’s not angry, just… determined. “Thank you.”
226 Sunday Is Her
The door to Ashlyn’s room opens, and a nurse steps out, looking at Jayden with a sympathetic expression. “Mr. Brennan, we’re ready whenever you are.”
Jayden nods, releasing my hand. “I’ll be right there.”
+25 BONUS
He turns back to me one last time, his eyes softening. I’ll see you afterward, okay? Go be with Henry.”
I nod, unable to find the words. He gives me a final, reassuring look before following the nurse into the room, leaving me standing in the hallway with my swirling thoughts and emotions.
As the door closes behind him, I lean against the wall for a few minutes. This has to be the hardest thing. I feel for him.
But I leave to go to the elevator to go and be with Henry while his mother passes from this world. She wanted him to have life and that’s something good. I know Lisa thinks it’s all cut and dried because Ashlyn did so much to me and against me.
That I shouldn’t even be giving Ashlyn a moment of caring. But it’s hard to think so cruelly in the long term. What really matters is that she made the right choices in the end for her baby. How this baby managed to survive all the odds is beyond us all. But he did.
I stride back to the neonatal ward when I get to the floor. So many babies here are fighting for a chance at life. To grow. Not all of them will make it. That’s a horror so many parents go through.
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