29 Why No Daddy?
29 Why No Daddy?
(Winona)
“Pup–py”
I hear her soft whisper and my heart soars. She’s been asleep since the operation last night and Dr. Green said this was best for her to heal for now. I’m in a small armchair holding Puppy.
I must have dozed off despite feeling like I was awake all night. Anne dropped by very early this morning with Abby’s favorite toy, hoped it might help.
I open my eyes and see Abby staring back at me.
“Puppy,” she whispers and makes slow grabby motions with her fingers.
“Abby, sweetheart. Hi. I say and get up to hand Puppy to her. I lean in to kiss her forehead “Shhh, baby girl. Get some more rest.
“It hurts, Mommy.” Tears rolled down her cherub cheeks.
My heart breaks for her. I wish I could wave a magic wand and take all this pain away. I wish I could have the pain for myself and spare Abby.
“I know you’re scared. It’s okay.” I push the call button. You’re in the hospital. Let’s see if the nurse can help with that. I’m here, baby.” I rub her hair and hum a nursery rhyme.
The nursing staff came through every two hours to check on Abby’s vitals since the operation. They’d gotten me a coffee and some biscuits around midnight. I really needed to pee but I’m not leaving here. I’m not leaving her again.
The night nurse came in with a big smile for Abby. “Hey there, sweety. Look at you. You’re awake.”
“She says it hurts. Is there anything you can give her?” I ask.
“I see. I’ll double check Dr. Green’s instructions and give him a quick call.”
“Thank you so much.”
“A little discomfort is to be expected but we don’t want to see her in pain.” Nurse turns back to Abby, “can you tell me where it hurts, Abby?”
With her other hand she points to her chest. “Here.”
“We’ll get you something for that. Who’s this cute little guy?” The nurse pulls her toy’s ear.
“It’s Puppy.”
“Awwww. He’s so cute. He’s your friend, huh?”
Abby nods and gives a tiny smile.
“She’s a very brave little girl.” The nurse says to me.
Tears are rolling down my cheeks. “Braver than her Mom, that’s for sure.”
“You feel so helpless, but having those she loves around her is the best medicine. Moms, dads,
+25 BONUS
29 Why No Daddy?
grandparents, aunts and uncles.”
“I no have dad.” Abby says in her tiny voice. “I have Uncle Filp and Nanny Anne.”
My eyes are full again. While we have Phillip legally listed as her father, he’s Uncle Phillip to her. I’ve never heard her say anything about a dad before.
“That’s ok, sweety. Families come in all shapes and sizes. I have two Moms.”
“That’s cool,” Abby smiles again, then squeezes her eyes shut and winces.
“It is pretty cool, huh? Take it easy, Abby. I’ll get you some medicine to make it stop hurting. Ok?”
The nurse turns to me. “My shift is almost over. Dayshift nurse will take over, but I’ll call the doctor and get something organized. I think Dr. Green will want to see her.”
“Thank you so much, Nurse.” I wring my hands together. “Please hurry. I hate to see her in pain like this.”
I watch her go out the door and I hear my miracle baby’s tiny voice.
“Why no Daddy?”
“Let’s just get you well, sweetheart. We’ll talk later.” I don’t really know what to say.
I expected this question one day. But not right now, I guess she sees others with dads and it makes her wonder.
I hear the door open again and I turn expecting to see the doctor but it’s Phillip. He drops a bag inside the door as he enters. I rushed to him. “Abby’s awake. She’s in pain but they are getting her some more meds.”
Phillip kisses my cheek. “I’m so glad. You look beat. Go get cleaned up if you need.”
I shake my head. “She just asked me why she has no dad,” I whisper. “I didn’t know what to say.”
“I think she’ll forget again soon.”
He goes to Abby. “Hey there, champ. Good to see you.”
“Hi, Uncle Flip.”
The door opens again, and I look expectantly. It’s the nurse. I’m relieved but I’m also mad at myself for half–expecting it might be Jayden walking in.
Being in this emotional state makes everything in me want to reach out to Jayden. But I know this will pass. As long as I remain logical and flex my emotional muscles, I’ll get through this phase.
“Doctor is on his way. I’m putting a mild painkiller into her intravenously. Once she’s been examined, Dr. Green will let us know how it’s best to manage her pain
“Thank you,” I say and I’m truly grateful.
“You’ll both need to leave the room while she’s examined.”
I nod. Not that I want to go anywhere. Phillip grips my hand as we walk out.
“Don’t you need to get to work?” I realize he’ll have to do both our jobs while I’m here.
“I’ll wait for the doctor. I got you a change of clothes in the bag.”
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