390 Results Not Helping
(Winona)
Just after lunch on Monday, Klara is on the cottage doorstep. The kids are in lessons at the estate and I’m reading through all the future suggestions Jayden emailed me on the front porch.
She’s balancing a large, rustic basket on her arm. She smiles warmly, setting it down on the wooden table with a soft thud. The assortment of jars, oils, and fresh produce inside exudes an earthy and comforting
scent.
“Some of the best we have–jams, honey, cheeses, and some of my own oils and remedies. Viktor mentioned Jayden wanted to thank me for the welcome basket I sent you, so I thought there better be one here when he got back.”
“It’s perfect,” I say, touching a jar of dark amber honey. “Thank you, Klara.”
She inclines her head, but I notice her gaze flicker briefly to her handbag, her expression turning slightly
more serious.
She reaches into her bag and pulls out a small envelope, setting it on the table between us. My heart starts pounding as I look at it, dreading what it might confirm.
“These are your results for how far along you are,” she says, her voice gentle but steady. “I wanted to bring them myself.”
“Not the DNA confirmation?”
“No. The weekend interfered. But they said two days.”
I stare at the envelope, feeling a mixture of anticipation and dread twist my stomach. “Okay… This is a
start.”
She nods, meeting my gaze.
The envelope is cool to the touch and my heart races. In my mind I’m praying it confirms I’m less than three months pregnant. That clears hall pass week. I open the envelope and unfold the results.
My eyes scanning for that all important number.
“Three months,” I murmur. “I was hoping it would be less, to be sure of Jayden…”
Klara reaches across, her hand warm as she places it over mine. “This only tells us the timing, nothing more. It does not mean Jayden isn’t the father.”
“But it means there’s a chance he isn’t.” My voice breaks slightly.
I feel panic rising inside me. What if he isn’t? How will I tell him? How can he ever forgive me for being pregnant with another man’s child?
He can’t. He can’t, and he won’t. Especially if the father is his best friend or a man he hates.
How could I have been so stupid? I could have had sex with anyone and yet I chose men who could only ever complicate things. Even with no pregnancy. Am I on a death wish?
Klara’s gaze softens, her thumb rubbing soothing circles over my knuckles. “Winona, get control of your
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390 Results Not Helping
thoughts. Fear, it has a way of reaching your child, even now. You must find ways to calm yourself, to create a place for love, not worry.”
“I just… I can’t seem to let it go. What if this baby isn’t Jayden’s? What if he can’t handle that? How do I prepare myself? This is my own fault.”
She gives a small nod, folding her hands on the table, her tone steady. “The mind and the body are deeply connected, Winona. You must focus on this connection, to care for yourself and your child. If you cannot find a way to release this anxiety, the baby will feel it too.”
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