399 A Burden Shared
(Winona)
Klara’s calm voice continues, “experience has shown me what can be done to help women in challenging pregnancies. We have many tools at our disposal to support you physically, emotionally, and mentally.”
I watch her hands as she unpacks a small notebook. “In addition, I’ve included exercises for positive mindsets–proven ways to center the mind, keep fears in check, and foster a strong connection with the
baby.”
“I’m so afraid to have a strong connection with the baby.”
“I understand. But I do see you have a strong connection with all your children. So, I think this will happen anyway.”
“It’s actually something I pride myself on. I’m not the biological mother of three of them but they are my children just as much as Abby is. I feel that.”
“Yes, this is a choice we make. You will continue to make those choices. Even if this baby is not for this world, you try and you give it your all. That is what gets you through the dark days.”
“Yes. Because knowing I did my very best is so much better than thinking I could have done more, or I didn’t care at all.” I can sense a thread to cling to in my mind now.
“Doubt, and anxiety are common and valid emotions, especially in your situation, but we’ll work together to ensure they don’t overshadow your resilience.”
Her words resonate deeply, and I feel a flicker of strength. “You know, Klara… I didn’t think I’d ever have a chance to do this again. I’m so afraid of everything that could go wrong, but at the same time, I want to believe.”
She listens carefully, her expression understanding but resolute. “This is a precious journey, Winona. And as with all difficult journeys, we face challenges.”
“I do realize that this might be out of my hands in the end.”
“But you’re not powerless. To err is human, they say. I say to hope is human. Whatever happens, I will support you.”
I nod, feeling bolstered by her confidence. “What about medical care here? I do want to go back to the U.S., but flying might be risky.”
“A doctor will need to clear you before flying. You have the resources to afford the very best medical care. Use it. There are times to take a stand against wealth and times you should accept it.”
“I won’t be too proud, I promise.”
Klara nods and pats my hand. “But until then, we will establish a temporary care plan here. I recommend seeking out a physician with a strong understanding of high–risk pregnancies. Technology moves fast, so someone with a fresh, modern attitude may be best for you.”
“I’ll make some calls as soon as I have talked to Jayden. He’ll be flying back this evening briefly.”
“I can accompany you to a doctor and advocate for a combined approach if that would ease your mind or
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US
Jayden isn’t available.”
If Jayden is no longer in the picture, is what she’s really saying. But he will be. Thankfully.
She looks at me kindly, handing over a small vial of an earthy–smelling tincture. “This is for grounding–a blend of valerian root and passionflower. It will help you stay calm, especially if difficult thoughts or fears arise.”
I accept it, feeling the cool glass in my hand, and I realize just how grateful I am to have Klara here. “I’m so glad you’re here. If Jayden knew about… well, everything that led to this point, it would just complicate things. He doesn’t need to know I had paternity concerns.”
Klara’s gaze sharpens slightly, but her tone remains steady. “It is entirely up to you how and when you share information with him. As long as you can let go of what you choose not to share for now. The baby needs stress–free you. Are you able to do that?”
I nod. “Yes. I will focus on what’s best for this baby, and that’s keeping calm, grounded.”
Klara smiles, a soft but determined expression. “This isn’t about what–ifs; it’s about creating the best possible reality.”
I grip the vial in my hand, nodding, a wave of determination washing over me. “Thank you, Klara. I feel… ready. Really ready.”
She gives a final nod, closing her bag. “Take each day as it comes, Winona. You have a powerful journey ahead, and you’re already doing an incredible job considering what you’ve been waiting to hear. Just remember, the baby can’t help who its parents are, so do your best for the baby.”
I nod, unable to resist a grin. “Actually, I’ve got a little more reason to relax now.” I take a deep breath, ready to share this news with her. “The DNA results came back, and… it’s Jayden’s. It’s his baby.”
Klara’s face softens with a look of pure relief. “Oh, that is wonderful, Winona. I can see you are so pleased.” She gently places a hand on my arm. “Thank you for sharing with me, and I assure you, this stays private. Congratulations.”
I nod, feeling a sense of calm knowing Klara’s trustworthiness. “It’s like everything is finally lining up. It feels like… I don’t know, like the universe decided to give me a break for once.”
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