Trigger Warning:
The following chapter contains sensitive content, including the loss of a pregnancy and scenes of emotional distress. This may be triggering for some readers, particularly those who have experienced similar situations. Please proceed with care, and remember to prioritize your well-being. If needed, take a break or seek support.
(Winona)
I’m propped up in bed with a stack of pillows, sipping herbal tea from a handmade ceramic mug Klara sent as part of a care package all the way from Brussels.
It came with a range of her organic herbal teas, a lavender-scented balm, and a handwritten note in her elegant script: Rest your body, nurture your heart, and trust your strength, Winona. That woman always seems to know what I need before I do.
I’m so grateful and thankful for meeting her. I miss her gentle counsel and seeing her on a daily basis now I’m back in the States.
My body feels stronger today, the heaviness weighing me down since the fall has lifted ever so slightly. Mentally, not hearing that heartbeat is still hard. But I’m remaining positive right now.
I take another sip of tea and glance at Jayden, who’s holding Henry like a pro, bouncing him gently while scrolling through his phone with his free hand. He looks up and catches me watching. “What’s that look for?” he asks, smirking.
“Nothing,” I say with a small smile. “Just appreciating the view. You’ve come a long way from the guy who used to live for his business.”
“Somewhere along the way, I realized there are more important things in life than business… and my own ego,” he says, walking over to the bed. He leans down and kisses my forehead, his lips lingering for just a moment. “How are you feeling?”
“Better,” I say honestly. “I’m going to take a shower, freshen up a little.”
“You can’t get that head wound wet.”
“Relax, I have a shower cap and I won’t get my head wet at all.”
“Okay. How do you feel about the ultrasound later today,” he asks gently, his eyes scanning my face. “Once they find the heartbeat, we’ll be cleared to go home.”
Home. The word feels like a warm embrace.
I’m already imagining standing in the kitchen, helping Abby bake cookies, and watching Henry toddle around the living room while the older kids argue over which movie to watch. The house isn’t perfect yet, but it’s ours, and I’m ready to make it our home.
I glance out the window, my mind drifting to the room that could be the nursery.
I hadn’t allowed myself to really think about it before, but after the ultrasound... Maybe we can finally start planning. A soft green for the walls, a rocking chair by the window, a crib tucked into the corner. I press a hand to my belly, feeling a flicker of hope I hadn’t dared acknowledge until now.
Anne appears by my bedside with a tray. “Lunch is ready,” she says, her voice warm and maternal. She sets the tray down on the bedside table, revealing a steaming bowl of chicken pasta, a slice of buttered bread, and a side of fresh fruit.
“Anne, you’re spoiling me,” I say, my stomach growling in response to the heavenly aroma.
“You need to keep your strength up,” she says firmly. “Eat up. The kids are eating in the kitchen and then I’m taking them to the house to have some outdoor time.”
I nod, picking up the fork and savoring the first bite. It’s everything I remember—warm, comforting, and made with love.
I glance over at Jayden, who’s now wrestling a giggling Henry into his highchair. “Come on, Tornado, let’s eat with your Mommy.”
My heart swells with gratitude. For all the uncertainty, for all the pain, I have this. My family.
After finishing most of the small meal, I swing my legs over the side of the bed. Jayden is there instantly, holding out a hand to steady me. “I’ve got it,” I insist, placing my feet firmly on the ground. “See? No wobbles.”
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