Chapter 200
Ryder’s Pov
Logan and I made our way to the gym without exchanging a single word. At this moment, only one person could truly match what I needed. I didn’t even have to ask Logan to spar with me he simply filled off his shirt as others formed a circle around us. My face was already bloody, but I needed more pain, needed physical agony to numb the torture in my heart.
Images of what Xena had endured kept flashing through my mintl. God, I hated myself for my helplessness, for failing to protect her when she needed me most.
Logan didn’t hold back, and neither did I. We unleashed all our frustration, all our rage and helplessness through our fists. Besides me, he was the only man who truly loved that woman. His love was different from mine, but equally fierce.
Each punch that landed felt like punishment for my failure. Logan understood my need, giving me the pain I craved–not out of pity, but understanding. In this room, only he comprehended the storm raging inside me.
I lost track of how long we fought, but in the end, neither of us won. I was covered in more blood than before, but these marks would fade in a day or two. Logan and I hugged it out, then grabbed our shirts. No words were exchanged. Instead, we each retreated to our rooms.
William came to collect Ama, and I dragged myself into the shower. The water turned brown as it washed over me, burning my open wounds, but this was only a fraction of what Xena had endured. I couldn’t stop replaying the moment she refused anesthesia- something I couldn’t comprehend. After everything she’d been through, I thought she’d want the pain gone.
The hot water stung my cuts, making me wince yet crave more. Xena why do you choose to feel everything? Is it because pain reminds you that you’re alive? Or is numbness too much like surrender? I wish I could take all your suffering onto myself.
I couldn’t imagine how she felt sitting in that room, enduring it all. My fists clenched as I fought the urge to punch the wall.
I had failed. I hadn’t protected her, and her worst nightmare had become reality.
I slipped into bed as gently as possible. I wasn’t sure if it was the mattress dipping or if she sensed my presence, but she turned, trying to curl into my embrace. With her arms bound to her torso, she couldn’t really put pressure on her shoulders.
Seeing her so vulnerable shattered my heart into a million pieces.
“Shh, I’m right here,” I whispered, resting my head against hers. My arm draped lightly across her stomach, and I felt her body relax as her breathing evened out.
I made a silent vow that from this moment on, I would be her unwavering guardian. No matter how long it took, no matter the cost, I would help her emerge from these shadows. I would be her shield, her safe harbor, her everything.
Xena’s POV
The only reason I’m awake right now is because my shoulders are killing me. I’m not sure if it’s because I can’t move them or because they were dislocated for too long. Ryder is still beside me, and I’m grateful for that.
Every tiny movement feels like a thousand needles stabbing into my shoulders, the pain keeping me uncomfortably alert.
Ryder?” I try nudging him with my leg.
“Hmm?‘ he mumbles.
“Can you undo the bandages?”
Chapter 200
“Undo your- Ryder’s eyes fly open as he looks at me.
“Yes, I need to move them.”
Ryder sits up to help me unwrap the bandages. As he works, more and more bruising becomes visible. When he removes the wrappings, I’m bare from the waist up. Bruises circle my shoulders, tending down to my chest and arms, and I’m sure they cover my back as well. They’re angry purple and blue, though some areas ve started yellowing.
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