Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M novel Chapter 361

I’m now mature enough to better understand Rowan and his actions. He lost the woman he thought he would spend the rest of his life with. If I were in his shoes, I would have reacted the same way. I would have taken out my anger on the person responsible for my pain, just like I tried taking out my anger on him after our divorce by treating him with nothing but hate and bitterness.

“I’m so sorry it took me this long to see how much I hurt you back then” I whisper, feeling overwhelmed. “For so long I was bitter. Especially after Emma came back and I realized that I could never be what you wanted or desired. I held for so long, and maybe if I hadn’t, you and Emma would have gotten a chance at a life together. I’m really sorry. You’ll never know just how sorry I am”

I pull myself back when I feel strong hands on mine. I’m surprised to see that he’d crossed to my side and was now sitting right next to me.

He takes a deep breath and I hold on to his hand like a damn lifeline. “What I did to you was much worse. The pain that I put you through the years is something I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself. I too was selfish because I saw your pain but I rationalized that you fucking deserve it and for that I’m sorry Ava. I’m sorry that I took it too far. Sorry that I trampled over your love and destroyed your heart. I’m so fucking sorry I caused you so much heartache”

I couldn’t listen anymore because the dam I’d been holding back, breaks and everything pours out. I couldn’t hold back my tears anymore when I saw how remorseful Rowan is and how this hurts him.

“It took seeing you with someone else for me to realize how much I wanted you. It took almost losing you to someone else to see how much I love you. I pushed you into another man’s arms, and I can’t tell you just how agonizing it was knowing that you were moving on with someone who wasn’t me. That you were actively trying to put me in your past. That the pain I caused you made you wish that you’d never met me. That you regretted ever loving.”

I try to wipe away my tears, but they just keep falling down like twin rushing rivers. They were endless.

“Knowing how much I hurt you now, breaks my fucking heart into pieces. I know you deserve better, and I should let you go so that you can find a better man, but I’ll be selfish one more time and hold on to you because I can’t imagine life without you. Please give me a chance, Ava. Give me a chance to show you that my heart belongs to you and that I love you with every fiber of my being, please?”