The fact is that I don’t even know what I want. Or how to play. Everyone is playing chess and I’m not even playing checkers. I feel so…stupid. And alone. I pull my pillow over my head, groaning, missing my sister, my dad, my old life.
God, what I wouldn’t give to go back to it all.
The thing that finally breaks me out of my stupor is my stomach, which gives a mighty growl at some point in the evening when I’ve been laying in the dark for what must be a few hours. I sit up, looking down at my complaining stomach, and feel a headache pulse at the back of my head.
I groan, and put a hand there, wondering if it was Kent pressing me up against the door or Ivan feeding me tequila all day that’s responsible for this. Either way, I want water, and sustenance. Now.
When I peek out of my bedroom door, the house is quiet, which pleases me. I want to see no one – absolutely no one – this evening. Waiting a moment to check that the house is quiet, I then sneak out into the hall, pulling my door softly shut behind me. I glance at a clock down the hall, surprised to see that it’s much later than I thought – around one in the morning.
I am pleased when I encounter no one in the kitchen. I quickly pour myself a glass of milk and grab an entire box of cookies from the cabinet. Not healthy, I know, but tonight I need food for the soul as much as the body, and chocolate and sugar sound about right.
I begin to relax as I head back up the stairs, confident I won’t meet anyone, but just as my foot hits the landing I hear something and freeze.
It was just a soft noise, a groan, or a moan…
I stand at the top of the steps like a startled hare, not moving a muscle except my eyes, which dart around looking for the source of the noise.
Nothing in the hallway moves but…yes. There it is again!
Curious, I listen closely and find my eyes moving to Daniel’s door. I continue to listen for a few moments more and then – yes. I’m certain. It’s coming from inside.
I let my curiosity get the better of me, perhaps feeling a little reckless as a result of my great embarrassment earlier in the day. Either way, I tiptoe closer to Daniel’s door, careful not to make a sound. Passingly, I wonder if he’s okay and hope that nothing is wrong…
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