“What are you thinking about,” I whisper a few minutes later, when our breathing and our heartrates have returned almost to normal. Kent has shifted himself to lay at my side, though I’m still on my back, one of his warm arms wrapped around me and pulling me close to his body.
Kent doesn’t say anything for a second, and then he gives a warm little laugh. “Nothing, Fay. I’m thinking about nothing. That’s sort of the point.”
“Is it?” I ask, turning my head fast towards him. Because I – I am thinking about everything. My thoughts are going wild right now – does that mean I did it wrong?
Oh my god.
Did I do it wrong?
Kent slowly opens his eyes a little and looks at me, his arm tightening to bring me closer. “Yes, Fay,” he whispers. “It’s supposed to be relaxing. Peaceful.”
“Oh,” I say, slowly, my face confused.
He smiles at me, amused, and I bite my lip a little, unable to help my little smile in return. It’s so rare to see Kent smile – it pleases me to be the one to make him do it, I realize.
“What,” he asks. “You’re not feeling relaxed?”
“No,” I whisper, my smile broadening. “I feel…kind of crazy.”
“What?” he asks, surprised and a little worried. His eyes open fully now. “What –“
“I mean,” I say eagerly, turning my body towards him. “Was it any good? Did I do it right? Did you – did you like it? Was I supposed to –“
“Fay,” Kent groans, laughing again and closing his eyes, a wider smile on his face now. He takes a deep breath, collecting his thoughts, and then he opens his eyes again to look at me seriously. I note, however, that he still has a little curve at the corners of his lips. “It was good if you enjoyed it. It’s not really about what I experienced – or it shouldn’t be, for you. That’s not what I want.”
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