Fated To The Alpha novel Chapter 167

Fated To The Alpha by Jessica Hall Chapter 167

My hands go to his chest making my palms tingle and an overwhelming need to get closer to him rushes over me. I am not sure if it is my emotions and needs or his when I feel his excitement against the inside of my leg making me pull away and break the kiss.

I go to get off his lap but he holds me there and my heart rate picks up, fear starting to seep into me.

“It’s just my reaction to you being this close Sage, we have talked about this so many times, it doesn’t mean anything more will happen” Andrei tells me.

“Please don’t back out Sage” Sierra whimpers in my head.

“Sage?” Andrei says, pulling my attention back to him. I relax letting out breath and I feel guilt smash into me from him. I hated feeling his guilt every time I freaked out. He didn’t do this to me, he didn’t ruin me.

I shake my head, pressing my lips to his forcing the fear away and focusing on his feelings instead and ignoring my own. Andrei groans, clutching me to him before pulling away, his lips travelling down my jaw and neck. Arousal floods me from him, the feeling so foreign to me it took me a few seconds to figure out why between my legs was pulsating with a need that scared me. He sucks the skin on my neck before running his tongue across the same spot. A breathy moan escapes me and I jump when I feel his canines press against my skin.

He goes to pull away but I run my fingers through his hair knowing if he doesn’t I will chicken out and it will never happen.

“ Sage, do you want this? You are really tense” he says, kissing my neck.

“Just do it please Andrei before I back out” I murmur waiting for the pain, my heart hammering in my chest so hard I knew he could hear it.

“I can smell your fear, Sage” Andrei says before moving and turning around. He pressed me against the bed and moved between my legs pressing his weight down on me.

“Nothing more Sage, just like training, you can tell me to stop, and I will stop. But I won’t mark you while you are petrified of me. I won’t mark you just because your wolf and I want to and you feel obligated to, so if you don’t want me to, tell me stop and I will” he says looking down at me.

My breathing was becoming heavier, tears blurring my vision as panic started to set in along with anger. I was angry because I was so fucked up, a fucking disappointment and useless to the one person I am meant to be for.

“Shh Sage breathe, what do you want?” Andrei asks and I snap at him, my anger at myself bubbling over and leaving my lips.

“To be fucking normal, I want to be normal and not used goods. I don’t want to be scared to want you, I don’t want to fear you but I will never be normal and you deserve better than some broken toy everyone has used up” My words spit out in an angry rush.

I swallow my anger receding and I let out a breath, shame hitting me, yet Andrei doesn’t say anything a t my sudden outburst, just presses his head against my collarbone, my chest rising and falling rapidly as I try to catch my breath..

Why was shame one of the most horrid things to live with. You know in your head that what happened was wrong and mentally in a sense you know it wasn’t your fault, but why do I feel ashamed? Why am I the one that feels dirty, disgusted and why after everything and being free of them does it still have to haunt me. I am free now yet that nagging voice still says not for long, even though I know they’re dead, know they can’t touch me yet they still control my body, control my fear, control me.

“You fear pain because that’s all you know Sage, you fear not being good enough because that’s how you see yourself, don’t think for one second I see you that way.” Andrei sighs.

“ If anything it’s the opposite. I have killed so many people, yet the Moon Goddess gave me you, trusted me with you, I am the one not deserving of you. I am not a good man, I know that, you know that, my entire pack knows that, so don’t ever say I deserve better than you, because I never should have been blessed with you, not after everything I have done, so don’t tell me you aren’t good enough because you are so much more than I deserve” Andrei says.

My brows pinch feeling the truth behind his words, he truly believed he didn’t deserve me and I chuckle. Here I was thinking I wasn’t good enough and he would be repulsed by me while he felt the same, two people impossibly messed up and the Moon Goddess put us both together. Weren’t our souls tortured enough, yet now she makes sure we torture each other more.

“Care to share what’s so funny?” Andrei laughs, pulling away and looking down at me.

“Nothing, I was just thinking how impossible it all is”

“We don’t have to do it now, I can mark you when you aren’t so scared” Andrei says.

“I will always be scared Andrei whenever you’re close, you just need to ignore me and do it” I tell him, turning my neck to him. I close my eyes waiting for him to mark me when I feel his lips press to my neck softly.

“Or I could show you, you don’t need to be” Andrei whispers, his lips trailing up my neck to my jaw.

“Tell me to stop Sage, tell me to stop and I will” he says, kissing my lips softly.

I answer his kiss, kissing him back, his hand trailing down my side before pushing under the shirt. My heart pounding in my chest and goosebumps rise on my skin as his hot hand moves higher, pushing my shirt up with the movement before he palms my breast. I gasp, pulling away when I feel his thumb brush over my nipple. My body responded to his touch even though fear pulsated through every cell in my body.

Andrei pulls away sitting up on his knees between my legs as I watch him. Sierra shoving calming

memories into my head, showing me all the reasons I could trust him. I watch as he grips the hem of my shirt before tugging on it wanting me to take it off. I hesitate a second before sitting up and letting him peel it off leaving me n@ked beneath him.

“Do you trust me?” He asks, I gulp before nodding as he lowers himself back over me.

“Then trust me to touch you, trust that I will stop if you ask me to” Andrei whispers before kissing my shoulder.

His hands are roaming and exploring my body. His fingers teasing my nipple until it is a hardened peak. His lips follow his hand as he nips and sucks my skin before he sucks my nipple in his mouth. His tongue flicks over it before he moves to the other, hesitating and gauging my reaction.

I run my fingers through his hair and he growls before sucking the other one and sparks rush over m y skin, his emotions calm against my frantic ones but I focus on his, focus on the feeling of his tongue on my skin instead of what he is doing. Sparks rush moving everywhere he touches and a moan escapes me when I feel his hand move to my hip making me tense.