Fated To The Alpha novel Chapter 177

Fated To The Alpha by Jessica Hall Chapter 177

Katya POV

The drive felt like it was taking forever, each second was agonizing as I felt the cold dread of darkness creeping in and twisting and warping my rational thought. How had I never noticed before, how  had I never  felt   this writhing  within me. I  was always aware of the darkness, but for the most part  I only saw the aftermath  and didn’t have the processing of what it actually did. I felt like a bystander in my own body, yet for the first time I

was fully aware of what it did to me, the coldness of it and the way it controlled not only me but my thought patterns.

No wonder I never remembered much and would have to go off the word of  what my mates said about what happened     like a blackout drunk, only this time I was startling sober to watch what became of me. My limbs no longer mine, like I became the alter ego of the darkness as it wrapped me in its embrace, calling me to the deepest parts of my mind, whispering if  I just gave in to  it,  it would erase  everything that hurt me and now I realised the darkness which is all I saw last time was because I was not fighting but succumbing to the bliss it offered if I just shut off, if I let it have me. I let it have control because I could never identify it before, I couldn’t  hear  the whispers until it was too late.

Only this time I felt the rush of it smooth caressing coldness seeping in and tainting my mind, clouding it and weighing it down like extreme exhaustion. Just give in and sleep and tomorrow will be a new day but if I did, what

would the aftermath of the storm look like. I listen to the madness of its calling and fully identify myself within it.

The only thing grounding me was  the purring from Maddox,  the rumble  of his chest against my

back. His warm embrace holds me here, keeping me fighting to stay forward and not to give in. I always confused it for anger but it was so much more than that, so out of control.

I could feel my body twitching,  my hands  clawing at my skin like it was alive and crawling yet I had no control over my actions. I could only try  to fight to remain at the front, not giving into it completely and  giving it  the control  it craved. The darkness was like its own organism that resided in me, I was a vessel and it was just looking for an opportunity to sneak through my defenses and run amok.

I was my own destruction, no wonder they didn’t trust me, no wonder they lingered. If our roles were reversed I would be the same. I was a ticking time bomb and they knew it and now I did too.

The more I resisted the stronger its call and I was helpless in its clutches as I watched myself slip further into the depths of  my own mind,  a passenger within myself.

“Stop  Kat” Maddox whispers, the purring in his chest getting louder and I try to focus on the sound instead of the feeling slipping over me.

My claws drew blood as they raked over my bare legs, Maddox hissing, everything I did to myself  I was doing to him as he took it from me. I tried to focus on my surroundings, trying to find a way to anchor myself.

Andrei was driving his lips moving and I tried to focus on his words while Maddox tried to restrain my hands, holding them in one of his. My legs dug into the leather seat as my feet moved. Focus, focus. I tell myself, my mind growing heavier as I fight to remain. My back arching as he fights me to remain still, my entire body thrashing like a fish out of water.

“Need me to pull over” I hear vaguely. Andrei’s voice  muffled and I realised why, it was the noises I was making. Growling and screaming like a madwoman. Maddox’s arm goes over my forehead as  I try to  bite    him, the other around my chest when he moves, wrapping his legs around mine,  but my strength at the moment  was  hard for  him to contain.

The car jerks off the road and I am thrown into the footwell. Maddox landed on top of  me when the car stopped. My body was no longer mine, it didn’t belong to me and I could only watch as the door opened and I lurched out of it, tackling Andrei to the ground. His arms  wrapping  around my torso as the darkness forces the shift but still with my rabid wolf form taking over my brother didn’t let go, risking my deadly bite to contain me.

“Fight it, Kat. I know you’re still in there” He  growls. My teeth narrowly miss him as he lets go while I  turn  in his grip. The moment  his grip let  go I was lurching  forward,   trying to escape into the trees.  I am screaming at  myself, trying to tell myself to stop. There are too many human communities in this part and we were still an hour out from home, yet nothing I did was able to  pull me forward.

I was aware but it was like I couldn’t grasp the controls and pull on them. Nothing is holding me here. Paws sound on  the  ground  behind  me, gaining on me and I try to push through the veil of darkness, trying to take control  so they can  catch me when my paws hit the air, my body careening toward   the   rocky valley   beneath. Teeth sinking into my tail and jerking me back  quickly  and tossing me back onto solid ground though Maddox paws skid on loose gravel and I scream in my head as I watch him go over. The darkness watching unfazed by my mate falling to his death.

A vicious growl roars a second later as Donnie’s teeth grip the side of his face at the last second pulling him back but my body in wolf form didn’t wait to see if he got back to safety. Instead taking off and looking for escape. No matter how much I screamed for myself to stop I ran, running around the ravine and up higher to the road that winds along the mountain side.

I had no Idea where the darkness was taking me, but I appeared to be heading home. What did the darkness  want with me, it felt like  it  was searching for something. Seeking something out. Hearing a howl behind me, I move faster. Zipping and jumping over rocks and around trees before darting across roads continuing the incline to the top. Once there I turn off onto the secluded road. When I hear the mindlink open, it shocks me as Maddox’s voice forces its way in my head.

“Mateo, get the kids inside and lock it down” Maddox yells. I tried to figure out why he was talking about the kids, tried to figure out what he meant.

Seeing our minivan up ahead I seem to gain more speed, when the darkness takes over with newfound energy when I notice it. The glimmers of it. I try to jam on the breaks in my own body. Try yanking back on the darkness with horror.

“It was chasing them, it wanted their power.

How had I never noticed the aura that sat around my kids like a glowing beacon and it was calling to the darkness, the darkness wanted it, craved the power. My jaws snapping at the wheels like a bloody dog, trying to bite the tyres.

Mateo speeds up, flooring it when I hear a loud engine coming up behind me and I step to the side to see Andrei’s car chasing after ours when I  am hit from the side. Maddox teeth sinking  into me and flinging me across the now deserted road.

“I won’t let you have them, Kitty” He growls in my head. I tried telling him it wasn’t me, that this wasn’t me but  the darkness, that no part of this I had control over. I dart right,  Maddox  jumping into my path trying to get an advantage and for once I curse the training they put me through. He needed to hurt me, he needed to kill me if he had to, I would never be able to live with myself if I hurt one of my babies.

Maddox lunges at me but I drop, his body sailing over the top of mine before I take off again. My paws digging into the earth as I tore up the road when I realised something, the darkness doesn’t know how to use my aura, its all primal instinct, seeking power, it could fight but it couldn’t command because if  it could, why didn’t  I use  it on Maddox and Andrei?”