Fated To The Alpha novel Chapter 84

Fated To The Alpha by Jessica Hall Chapter 84

Katya POV

Waking, I sit up to see Ezra, and our room making me wonder if it was all some sick dream my mind conjured up to torture me with, another vision of a time to come.

“My mum?” I ask him, praying he would be confused and not know what I am talking about, that it was in fact just a dream, yet he just stares, his eyes softening like he didn’t know what to say.

‘She is gone Kat, it wasn’t a dream, I wish it was’ Kora wails in my head, her soul crushing pain, making me feel it in every fibre of my being, she was dead.

I never pictured my life without my mother in it, who does. You don’t think of someone who raised you, who was the strongest figure in your life, the one that holds the most influence in who you become as gone. My mother was my biggest supporter, my biggest critic but she was mine. Nothing measures up to the pain that comes with losing a mother especially when she gave her life for yours. Inconsolable pain, soul shattering, destroying pain is what it feels like when you realise the woman that was always there would no longer be.

Then there was my father, if I felt like this I would hate to know what it feels like to him, to lose a mate. Your other half, a piece of yourself, yet he lost it twice and all because he loved me. I am my father’s destruction, that I know will always be mine to bear, my life not only once took everything from him, first my real mother, then the woman who raised me. My life seems to cost everyone theirs all for some curse bestowed by a Moon Goddess who was supposed to love us, though she condemned me to a life of misery and watching those i love die around me. Anger was not a strong enough word for how much I hated my existence because without it she would still be here.

“Your father is staying in one of the guest rooms” Ezra says, making me focus back on him. I nod climbing off him, exactly how does someone tell their own father I’m sorry for being the reason your soulmate is dead. I couldn’t face him not now.

“Kat?” Ezra says as I sit on the end of the bed, this could have been avoided if they let me heal her, they all stood and watched, watched her turn grey, watched her die for me and not one of them let me help her when they knew I could.

‘We can’t save everyone Kat, not without suffering the consequences, the consequences for her life would have been ours’ Kora says.

‘We don’t know that and now we will never know,” I told her.

‘I know it wasn’t a risk they were willing to take Kat, not even your father was willing to trade her life for yours, mum wouldn’t, she would hate us if we tried and died for her. I see that now, you just need to too’ Kora says.

Now what, what happens now we just move on like she never existed, I couldn’t fathom going on without her, not without hearing her voice, feel the softness of her hands and the warmth of her hugs. How does one survive without that?

‘We have them, we have dad that’s how’ Kora says yet her words don’t make me feel any better.

‘Stay out of my head Kora’

‘Bit hard when I live in it’ She retorts becoming annoyed with me, I was annoyed at her too.

Ezra grabs my hand and I pull away from him, not because I didn’t want him touching me, but because I knew if he did I would break, I would rather the feeling of being numb then the floodworks, least then I don’t have to feel anything at all and can live in my own misery and deal on my own as long as they don’t touch me.

“Where did dad take her?” I ask.

“The morgue, but I can’t let you go there Kat”

“I know that, I was just asking Ezra” I told him before getting up and walking to the bathroom. I was still naked from shifting and I could smell blood all over me and it was beginning to make my skin itch as it stained me. Ezra comes in just as I step in the shower sitting on the sink basin and staring at me.

“You don’t need to linger, just go do whatever you need to do” I tell him.

“Your mad”

“I’m not mad at you just go away”

“You know that isn’t going to happen so why bother asking, you’re my mate kat. I am not going to just leave you”

“Why, do you want to pretend you actually liked her, bet Maddox is glad he got what he wanted, what you both wanted only difference is he isn’t afraid to admit it, you don’t have to play nice because she is my mum Ezra and it is insulting that you would try, so just leave me be”

“I don’t hate your mother Kat”

“Why because she is dead, because you hated her a week ago you don’t have to pretend to give a Sh*t” I tell him, rinsing my hair, congealed blood plopping on the ground before dissolving and washing down the drain.

“You have every right to be angry Kat, but that doesn’t give you a right to be a b*tch” Ezra says before walking out.

‘That was uncalled for Kat and you know it’ Kora says.