Fifty Shades Darker (book 5) novel Chapter 43

She is my salvation.

I stop at the bottom of my rib cage and move her hand across my abdomen, the lipstick spilling its red trail as she paints my body. I’m panting, trying desperately to hide my fear. Each muscle is tense and standing proud as the red slices my flesh. I lean back, supporting myself on flexed, straining arms as I fight my demons and surrender myself to her gentle illustration. She’s halfway done when I let go and give her total control. “And up the other side,” I whisper.

With the same single-minded focus, Ana draws up my right side. Eyes impossibly large. Anguished. But holding my attention. When she reaches the top of my shoulder, she stops. “There, done,” she breathes, her voice husky with repressed emotion. She lifts her hand away from my body, giving me a brief respite.

“No, you’re not.” I draw a line with my finger around the base of my neck above my clavicle. Ana takes a deep breath and traces the lipstick along the same line. When she finishes, blue eyes meet gray.

“Now my back,” I instruct, and shift so that she clambers off me. I turn around, my back to her, and cross my legs. “Follow the line from my chest, all the way around to the other side.” My voice is hoarse and alien to me, like I’ve left my body entirely to watch a beautiful young woman tame a monster.

No. No.

Be in the moment, Grey.

Live this.

Feel this.

Conquer this.

I am at Ana’s mercy.

The woman I love.

The tip of the lipstick crosses my back as I hunch over and screw my eyes shut, tolerating the pain. It disappears.

“Around your neck, too?” Her voice is plaintive. Full of reassurance. My life buoy. I nod and the pain is back, piercing my skin beneath my hairline.

Then, just as suddenly, it’s gone again.

“Finished,” she says, and I want to shout my relief from the helipad on Escala. I turn to face her and she’s watching me. And I know I’ll shatter like a shard of glass if I see any pity on her face…but there’s none. She’s waiting. Patient. Kind. Controlled. Compassionate.

My Ana.

“Those are my boundaries,” I whisper.

“I can live with those. Right now I want to launch myself at you,” she says, her eyes shining.

At last!