Flashbacks novel Chapter 4

I took my sweet precious time as I slowly slit my wrists. I loved the feeling of blood dripping right before my eyes. The sight was pretty. Gross, but pretty. I just liked it.

For once in my life, I felt as if I was in control. I’ve never had much control in my life since my birth-giver didn’t care for me and my sperm donor didn’t want me. Apparently he wanted my mom to have an abortion. At least that’s what my mom and step-father always tell me.

Do I believe them? Yes. Yes, I do. Because even I don’t want myself. Sometimes I would think that they’re lying since whenever I asked, they would always switch the conversation or yell at me. But now I just have to accept the fact that my father never wanted me. He didn’t even want me before I was even born.

I’ve never seen him before either. I don’t know how he looks, or the color of his skin, or anything. Gah, I hate myself.

I got off of my bed and went inside my bathroom so I would wipe off all the blood that had dried on my skin. My bathroom isn’t that big, obviously. I wasn’t rich or anything. The walls were white, a dull and boring color. The sink was on the left side as well as the toilet. On the right was the shower.

I grabbed some paper towels and wet them with lukewarm water. I used them to wipe the blood off my wrists. After wiping all the dried blood, I put a bandage on the cuts then walked back to my small bedroom. I was tired, so I decided to go to sleep.

When I layed down on my bed, I began to cry myself to sleep. I wish I had someone that actually loved me, but I knew I would never find that someone. I didn’t even love myself so how could someone else love me?

I was dozing off when I felt someone shaking me.

“Ugh,” I groaned, moving into a more comfortable position.

“Wake up,” a voice said.

I froze in fear. I remembered that voice. It was Angel’s. But…how?

“Why are you so scared, Eleonora?” he asked.

I looked up at him with wide eyes. He looked the same as the last time I saw him. He smirked.

“Are you ready to play?” he teasefully asked.

“No!” I yelled. “Please, go away. I don’t want to play…leave me alone.”

He stepped back into the darkness of the room. Instead of staying in the dark, he charged towards me and began choking me.

“You just had to piss me off,” he growled, slamming my head into the hard headboard of the bed which caused me to lose consciousness.

I jolted straight up out of bed. Unlike the last time I woke up from a nightmare, I was in more pain. As I began looking around, I realized I wasn’t in my room. I was in an all-white room that smelled like hand sanitizer and there was a beeping machine by my head. I was in the hospital.

But how? How did I end up in a hospital? And…what if Angel was here? I needed to get out.

There were many things attached to me. Like pins and whatever. The only things I can pinpoint is the IV bag and a heart monitor that was beeping like crazy. I hurriedly began removing everything that was attached to me.

I couldn’t afford going to the hospital or anything. No way.

As soon as I stood up from the hospital bed (which wasn’t very comfortable at all) I felt lightheaded. But I knew I couldn’t stay here. Angel would come and get me. Besides, I didn’t have money.

As I was starting to walk out of the room, a bunch of nurses ran into the room and began telling me to return to the bed. Everything around me was spinning. Their voices were all starting to blur, and my head began hurting. Still, I could only hear him. He was coming back for me. He was gonna finish what he started.

My head began hurting more and more from all the noise in the room. “Shut up…” my voice trembled. “Please, just shut up.”

I was already back on the hospital bed like how the nurses wanted. They were putting everything back in place on my body. They also injected me with this shot that was starting to calm me down.

The nurses began filing out of the room except for one and in came a male doctor who was holding a clipboard in one of his hands. He had white skin, intriguing brown eyes, and long brown hair. He also had a short beard and was extremely tall. Like over 6’0” tall. Probably about 6’5”, maybe. He looked to be in his late twenties.

“Hello,” he spoke up, “I’m Garrett, and I’ll be your doctor for the next few days.”

I gave him a confused look. “Why am I here, Garrett? How did I get here? And you’re not going to be my doctor for the next few days because there will be no next few days. I’m leaving,” I announced. “Now, please get these things off of me.”

He gave me a sad smile. “I’m sorry, Ms. Eleonora, but you’ll have to stay at the hospital for a few days. You’re not in the right state of mind and therefore cannot take care of yourself. You’re here because you were injured badly and a nice man named Noah called the ambulance. You fractured your left arm and got some bruises all over your body. The only reason you’re not in immense pain is because you’re on the heavy drugs my nurses gave you.

“Noah is in the waiting room, so I assume you know him. There’s also two others in the waiting room, a guy named Dan and a lady named Vera. They hope to visit you once everything is cleared up. Now, any other questions?” he asked.

I sighed. I remembered a bit of what happened but some of it was blurry due to the drugs being injected into me. I feel like I know exactly who was at the dark alley…And if it wasn’t for Noah (I think that’s the guy who saved me?) could he have possibly hurt me even more?

I felt uneasy by the two pairs of eyes that were on me. “Um. Can I talk to Dan, please?”