Chapter 67
As I walk back through, he stands waiting. I go to walk around the unit, and he stops me. “What is going on? You’re not telling me everything. You’re avoiding talking to me. Why?”
“There’s nothing to tell. I found him with another woman.”
“And…” He stands waiting.
“And we split up.” I shrug.
“Talk me through what happened and what he said.” He looks at me, waiting.
“New years, I went back early to spend it with him, I found him in my room with a woman. I screamed at him, the woman asked if I was her, and laughed.” His eyes widen. “I told them to get out, he told me to calm it and I asked how he could it to me. He called me boring but explained he could see that you were falling for the fact he was with me, so he played for a bit until he got the money.”
He doesn’t reply; he just stands shocked.
“Then he told me I should be happy, I got to fuck and date him. Someone with money that every woman wants. I hit him, and he
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said there was more action in a board game.”
Now he knows I can get my shit and leave.
“Ruby, I’m sorry.” He stares at me. “This is my fault. He was going from woman to woman, partying and blowing money on nothing. You started dating him, and he seemed to settle
slightly. I mentioned the money; I didn’t think he would use you just to get the money.”
“It’s not your fault. You know now, but I need to get my things.” I turn, and he stops me.
“Don’t you listen to him, to his words. What he said is wrong, he was cruel, and I’m sorry.”
I shrug but don’t reply.
“Ruby, why are you listening to his words and letting that change you?”
“I’m not.” My words are quiet, and his head tilts. “Okay, maybe I am. Something must make him think that, so somewhere inside, I’m boring. I’m not sure if it’s a fact I wouldn’t let him grope me under the table while you were here or that fact I refused to fuck him here with you in the other room that made him see me as boring, or maybe it’s because I really fucking am!”
His body stills as I shout. There has to be some truth to his
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“I wouldn’t have believed him so much if he didn’t tell others, and then those people start saying shit. Everyone knows, he told everyone.” I can’t go into class without people staring at me and talking.
“Ruby, come here.” I look at him and shake my head. His hand grips mine, and he pulls me in front of him. He turns me so my back is against him. “What is this?” He taps the side, and I glance down.
Shit, my list. I go to say I don’t know when he speaks. “It fell out of your bag. You threw it down with that much force.” He chuckles and waits.
“It was something to help me experience more, stop being a prude, and prove everyone wrong.”
He sighs and grabs a pen, placing it next to the paper. His hands grip the counter next to me. “Pick up the pen,” he says, his breath washes over my neck. Reaching down, I get it.
“Cross off number eight.”
“W–what?”
“Cross of number eight. The list is a good idea, but number eight is a risk. Not only that, but you’re not selling your body.
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You gain nothing from it.”
“I want to.” It will help. It’s different.
“No, you don’t. Women dance there for money, and many are abused behind the scenes. If you want a list, fine, but make it safe. Cross it out.”
Nodding, I cross out the dancing in an adult club.
“Number ten, cross it out.”
“Why?” What is wrong with a threesome?
“You don’t even have a partner, so you’re planning to have a threesome with two strangers? That’s putting yourself at risk. Remove it.” Nodding, I cross it out.
“Number fifteen as well.”
“People do it all the time.” What is wrong with a one–night stand?
“You didn’t have them for a reason. Because you know you’re worth more than a night, don’t forget your values and morals. Remove it.” Biting my lips, I scratch it out.
“Also, number sixteen. Before you ask, that’s safer and better if
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you have a partner, not a random guy.” I cross out the sex in public. “Number nineteen.”
“What?” What is wrong with trying bondage during sex?
“You don’t have a partner. Are you really going to let a stranger, a one–night stand, tie you up? You’re putting yourself at risk.”
I didn’t consider that. Maybe there is a lot on here that shouldn’t be, as I can’t do it alone or with a total stranger I don’t trust. I cross it out, move down the list, and begin crossing off some other things.
“Good girl,” he whispers into my ear. I relax, putting down the pen. He was right; some of them are putting me at risk. “Now, let’s talk about the last few.” He turns over the paper. “Explain why you would have that on a list?”
“Erm…” I swallow hard.
“Ruby, why would you have those on the list when it’s a list of things you hadn’t done or ever tried?”
Shit. I bite my lip, and he keeps me encased between his body and the kitchen island.
“My parents were very religious and strict. Anyone before Jake was fun, and well, those are still things I haven’t done or experienced.”
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I feel his body turn to ice, his hand grips my chin, and he turns my head to see me. “Are you joking?” I try and shake my head but fail. “Ruby, for years, you were dating and fucking. Are you telling me you’ve never had an orgasm, and he never fucked you with his mouth?”
His words cause my body to shake, and my head moves from side to side. “I never really enjoyed sex,” it’s the truth, which is why I was happy to quickly say no when Jake tried for sex.
“I want to fix the last two issues on your list.”
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