Forever in the Past and Forever in the Future novel Chapter 20

Kas's POV

Bronx looks like a swamp monster as he walks towards me with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. I stand up when I see him, putting my hands over my mouth with a little gasp.

We make eye contact. With all the mud, I can't read his expression, but I can feel his pain. Not physical pain, emotional pain.

"IT need you," he growls as he walks past Milo and Lenora. He leans over, wraps his muddy arms around my waist, and picks me up. He doesn't even break his stride. He just keeps walking. There's a squishing sound where his skin contacts my clothes. Welp, I guess this outfit is done for.

After listening to everything Milo and Lenora just told me, I had no idea what reaction to expect when Bronx got back, but it certainly wasn't being thrown over the shoulder of a swamp monster.

"Uh, bye guys. Thanks for the talk," I wave at Milo and Lenora. They wave back with confused looks on their faces.

"Want to tell me what's going on, Bronx?" I ask as he climbs the stairs.

He just grunts as he carries me, wrapping his arms around my legs in a tight bear hug up the stairs to the fifth floor. Instead of going to my suite, he opens the door to his apartment and kicks it closed behind him. He carries me all the way to his bedroom and sits me on the edge of the bed. Instead of sitting up and looking at me, he lays his muddy head next to my hip, his heavy, muddy chest is in my lap, and his arms still tightly around my waist.

I smooth his muddy hair as he silently holds on to me as if his life is depending on it. Ican feel his emotions, he feels tormented. Maybe his life does depend on it? I feel helpless seeing him like this.

"Bronx, sweetheart, please talk to me. Please. Whatever it is, I'll listen," I soothe him.

The most unexpected thing happens next, silent sobs start racking through him. My eyes grow wide. Uhh, what? He's crying? Now 1 definitely don't know what to do.

I pull his arms off from around me and slide off the bed, into his lap, and lean against him. He puts his head against my shoulder and continues to cry. He shakes his head back and forth as he sobs. His whole chest heaves as he whimpers and tries to catch his breath. We sit like this for some time until he starts to calm down. It's clear this reaction isn't just because of witches. This is built up stress that he's been holding on to for a long time. I feel a twinge of guilt knowing I am part of that stress.

I lean away from him so I can look at his face. Like a big baby, he won't look at me. He lifts his face to the ceiling, stopping me from seeing his tears but it's my turn to wipe tears away. Well, tears and mud, but you get the idea. I press on his chin gently, pushing his face down so he is looking at me square in the face. It's the first time I've seen him with no eyepatch. At first glance, it was a bit jarring to see a long vertical scar where an eye should be. The thought of his scar is fleeting as I look into his eye and see all the pain he has been holding on to.

"Bronx, what's going on?" I use a gentle tone as I caress his cheek, "Please don't hide from me. I can take care of you just as much as you d o for me. Please trust me.”

He looks at me with a tear welling up again, "I can't pile this shit onto you, Kas. You've been through enough. This is my burden and mine alone. I just-I don't know what to do with it. The biggest threat I've ever sworn to protect my pack from is witchcraft. After what I went through when I was in the military, I've

fought tooth and nail to keep witches and other creatures off of my territory. That bitch didn't just take my eye. She took part of my liver and almost killed me. It's my job to keep my pack safe."

"Now the one thing that can help my mate, the one fucking thing, is exactly what I have fought so hard against for years," his voice is shaky as his lip trembles, "I don't know what to do Kas. I need to do what's best for you but I also need to do what's best for the pack, and right now those things are conflicting. I'm not just an Alpha, I'm an Alpha Regent. The word of my decision will get out and everyone will judge me. Maybe even question my authority, regardless of what I decide."