Forever in the Past and Forever in the Future novel Chapter 32

We spend all day in the cottage in the woods, mostly with no clothes on. While, yes, it intensifies our physical connection, our emotional connection is beyond anything either of us could have ever imagined. I can't even imagine how much more intense things will be when I am finally able to mark her.

 

It's Saturday evening and we are laying in bed with our bodies intertwined. I'm playing with a lock of her hair while she nuzzles my neck. “Kas, do you think things will change when you come home or will we still be this close? Because when you first came here and I had to go home alone, I felt like the world was going to end. Nothing made me happy. Saint wouldn't even talk to me.

 

“But last time when I went home, it was like I was completely energized and ready to get back to normal. I mean, I missed you like crazy, but I had hope in my heart. And now? I feel like I could go home and could take on the world. Once you're back, I'm going to be unstoppable," I explain as I continue to play with her hair, running my fingers through her scalp.

 

“It's just going to keep getting better, Sweetheart. Let's freshen up and get dressed. I'll make you dinner and explain the things I have been learning about," she assures me with a kiss on my marking spot, sending shivers down my spine.

 

"T don't understand why we have to wait to mark our mate. She clearly wants to mark us," Saint huffs.

 

"Saint, we told Lady Camille we will wait. Our word is our bond," I argue.

 

"Damn you and your morals," he snarls back before going to the back of my mind.

 

I let Kas get a shower first, then I take my turn. I'm certain if we get a shower together, dinner would never happen. When I get to the kitchen, she's almost done chopping vegetables.

 

“Hi Baby, what's for dinner? Can I help with anything?" I ask, looking over her shoulder. She may have grown two inches, but she still only comes up to the middle of my chest. I avoid the temptation of resting my chin on the top of her head but the thought of it makes me smile inside.

 

“Shepherd's pie. I don't need help but thank you. Just have a seat," she uses the knife to point at a stool by the counter. I pull the stool next to her and sit down making us about the same height. '

 

“Sounds delicious, Baby. So, spill. What have you been learning about?" I ask. I put my elbow on the counter and put my chin in my hand.

 

Kas tells me how the coven has leveraged her abilities and taught her how to use meditation and past life regression to help her get in touch with the significant experiences of her spirit's previous lives, good and bad. She's aware of the experiences but she doesn't have an emotional connection to them. She explains it like remembering scenes froma television show or movie.

 

The witches believe the more she practices through her life, the more connected she will become to the memories and they will become important to her. She may even remember it in her next lifetime. She has learned so much about her past, that it's helping shape who she wants to be moving forward. It has made her realize that the years she suffered abuse in this life was such a tiny part of her journey as a whole. It's only important in this lifetime, it would always be something she remembered, but it didn't define her life or future lives moving forward. °

 

It all sounds so amazing and I am glad she is getting to know more about herself, but I'm not sure where that puts me.

 

"That's great, Baby," I smile and rub her shoulders, but she sees right through me.

“Mmm, nope. Don't hold out on me. What's wrong, Bronx?" she asks with a concerned look as she drains the fat from the ground beef.

 

“I don't want to sound insecure or anything," I confide, "but if the things I know you've been through for years and years is an

insignificant part of your life, I mean, we only met a few months ago. So, like, I don't know. Do I even exist in this timeline of all things, Kas?”

 

I feel a pang of sadness and guilt in my chest as I slump forward a little. This is supposed to be about her, not me.

 

"Oh Bronx," she comes to the stool and stands between my legs, wrapping her arms around my neck, "Why do you think Lady Camille has been having us spend time alone here in this cottage?”

 

"T assumed it's because we're mates and she knows it would be detrimental to both of us if she kept us apart," I put my hands on her tiny waist and shrug, suddenly feeling very unimportant. Not something I'm used to and call me selfish but I have to say, I don't like it. “Well, yeah, but it's deeper than that, Sweetheart. The more we're together, the stronger our connection is. Not just by having sex, but anytime we experience a significant emotional event together. Good ones or bad ones," she looks me in the eye to see if I understand.

 

I am really out of my element in this conversation. I understand the physical connection but I get lost when Kas tries to explain the spirit and emotional stuff.

 

“What do you mean by our connection? Our mate bond?" I feel my brows knit as I speak. "Yes, our mate bond is part of that, but it is bigger and deeper than that. It has to do with our individual spirits needing each other to survive," she explains.

 

I'm trying but she may as well be speaking Mandarin. I'm trying not to get frustrated but I can't help it. Patience is not my strong suit. She can see that it doesn't make sense to me. So she goes about it a different way. She grabs two onions, one white, one red. ’

 

“This onion is you," she holds up a white onion and hands it to me, " The red one is me.”