Forever in the Past and Forever in the Future novel Chapter 5

**Trigger Warning - This chapter has sensitive content related to S.A.**

 

Sam scoots back on his backside away from me, wide-eyed, then clambers up and runs away as fast as he can.

 

Suddenly, I'm thrust back into my normal state of mind and I fall back to the ground, exhausted. My hands are no longer glowing but they feel like they are on fire and full of static electricity. 

 

"Lex! What was that?" I scold her, but mostly because it scared me.

 

"I couldn't help it. He was threatening us."

 

"Okay, but what was with the glowy purple, burny hands thing?! That's not normal!"

 

"Kas, we've been through this. We are a child of the Moon Goddess. We are special. The 'glowy purple, burny hands thing' is a gift from our mother. There is more too. You will see after we shift for the first time. Until then, I'm not strong enough to show you. Besides, it isn't like I hurt him; his wolf will heal him before he is back in his office." 

 

"I-I don-, wait, you mean the Moon Goddess is my actual mom? Like she gave birth to me, specifically? Not just, like, mother of all werewolves because she created us a gazillion years ago?" 

 

"That's what I've been saying since I woke up. It's not my fault you didn't believe me." 

 

I pick up a towel to wipe the blood from my nose. Lex is already healing me from the break. But my face is clearly going to be bruised for a couple of days. I pull my hat down low so no one can see the bruises then pick up the first two platters and rush out to the dining room.

 

"Okay, well if you're able to do that to Sam, how come you can't do it to Alpha Graham or Ryan?"

 

"Well, I think it happened one time before I woke up, but I wasn't fully in control then. I can't do it now because he's our Alpha, Kas. I can't go against what he says. I can't attack our Alpha or our future Alpha." 

 

"Fine," I concede. I don't want to argue with her. I'm just trying to figure out the rules. I'm kinda in uncharted territory here. I mean, it's cool territory but I don't know what our limits are. 

 

Once all the platters are out, I make the list of extra supplies I need and put it in the box hanging outside Sam's office. That way, I don't have to face him again.

 

I clean up the dining room from lunch and still have about forty-five minutes until I need to start dinner. I decide to go to the stockroom and put supplies on the pantry cart for later. As I'm working, I hear someone clear their throat behind me. I look up to find Ryan standing uncomfortably close to me.

 

"Can I help you with something, Ryan?" I try to swallow the panic that instantly builds in my throat.

 

"Kas, I just wanted to say, when I'm Alpha, you won't be treated the way you are now," he takes a step closer, forcing me to back up against the cart.

 

"Ryan, please stop," I put my hands up and push lightly against him to get him to move, but he's stronger than me and doesn't budge. I look up at him to see an evil grin distorting his face.

 

"I see the way my dad treats you, Kas. You never complain. You just take it," he moves closer, breathing deeply until he's fully pressing himself against me, "I think you like when he does it. Don't you?" he whispers in my ear.

 

What in the actual Hell?! There is no way I heard him right. Did I?

 

"Ryan, I absolutely do not enjoy being beaten by your father," I say in disbelief, "and you're no better, standing there watching him instead of stopping him.”

 

I can feel tears stinging the corners of my eyes as he slips an arm around my waist. I cannot believe this is happening right now. 

 

"Don't lie to me, Kas. It makes me hard to think about what I'll do to you when it's finally my turn. I can't wait until he lets me treat you like that. I want to hear you moan with pleasure when I beat you. I want you on your knees so I can whip you instead of him. I want you to be my toy, Kas, not his. You'd like that, wouldn't you? Bowing down to me with that pretty ass in the air? We'll turn the dungeon into a playroom just for us, instead of just your bedroom," He's nuzzling against my neck right below my ear making me cringe, but I don't have anywhere to be able to move to get away from him. I can feel his erection getting harder as he leans more weight against me.

 

"You will see. Glowy, burny hands are not our only gift."

 

I get up, find an old cardigan in the back of the stockroom, and put it on. I go back to my room to find new clothes before making dinner.

 

The next four days go without incident. Unless you consider I have gone to the roof several times contemplating my existence. Each time, I stand with my toes at the edge and stare down from the four-story building. I can't bring myself to do anything except cry and go back to my room. I can't do it to Elexis. I can't take her life because I want to take mine.

 

Sunday after dinner service, I see Luna Caroline in the hallway while I'm refilling pantries. She quickly approaches me and grabs me by the arm. She extends her claws into my bicep, drawing blood.

 

"Kas, if you tell anyone and I mean anyone what you saw in Sam's office, I will kill you," she says in a low threatening tone.

 

You too, lady? I'm fed up. She wants to kill me? Okay, fine. I lift my hat and let my violet eyes look directly at her. She gasps at the unusual sight.

 

"Luna, it would be a relief and I would welcome death. You clearly don't know or care how I'm treated by this pack. Including your husband, your son, and apparently your lover, too," Tears choke up in my throat. I cannot take any more punishment or threats from anyone else. I'm at my wit's end. If she murders me right here in this hallway, it would be a relief.

 

"I'm sorry, Lex. I just can't do it anymore," I say to my wolf as I'm staring down Luna Caroline. She doesn't respond, she shuts our mind link and crawls into the corner of my mind.

 

Luna Caroline pushes me away, "Insolent child! You should be grateful for your life! The Alpha will hear about this."

 

"I'm not grateful for this life, Luna. And if you think I should be, you are part of the problem. If you want to tell the Alpha about this incident, I'm more than happy to tell him what instigated it."

 

She stares at me with pure anger and hatred before walking away without a word. I guess fate has other plans for me. I stand in the hall for a few minutes to see if she is coming back, but she doesn't. I'm certain she is going to sabotage me. Maybe she's going to smother me in my sleep or just stab me straight in the back. Either way, I was serious when I told her I welcome death.