Found by the Lycan King by Natalie Winter novel Chapter 135

Chapter 135 

Zenovia 

Chapter 135 

Pushing the hair away, he continued when I stepped back. 

“So…it took me a while, but I realized I was not going to die no matter how much I fought and pushed myself. But those around me were dying…at an alarming rate. I had to change that. I could not save all of them but a few whom I could, I tried my best to care for them. Slowly, I found the survivors and gathered them to form a pack. I devoted my life to their betterment while silently hoping every day that I would not open my eyes the next morning. But guess what?” 

He asked, smiling like a madman. 

My heart broke to see him like this and I went towards him, trying to calm him down, but he stepped away again. 

“I…I never fucking died. Aisy died, but I am still alive. And… I would not have wanted to live…until I found you. 

Callahan said, the last four words leaving his mouth in a pained whisper. I felt as if somebody was squeezing my heart in a deathly grip and I could not breathe anymore. 

This. This was his way of telling me that I mattered to him. That he found the will to live…because of me. He had never been good with words, but his admission told me I was not just a random girl crushing on him. 

It told me that he felt something as well. And the burden of so many deaths, along with the guilt of staying alive with those memories, made him think he was unworthy of love. 

I could not bear to see him so vulnerable. 

“I would never let you die, Cal.” I began sobbing bitterly, and ran towards him, my hands holding him tightly. This time, he did not step away or push me back. 

And I held onto him like he was the last breath of air I needed to survive. 

The fear of losing him made my heartbeat race, and I gripped his shirt tightly, coiling my hands around him. 

My head was resting on his chest and I let the steady rhythm of his 

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heartbeat calm my nerves. I could not bear the thought of not hearing his heart beat like this. He had to live. For me. 

He cupped my face and looked at me. “You…you changed me.” He said, and I chuckled despite the tears streaming down my face like a river. 

“You are the reason I found the will to live again. I had built walls around my heart to not let anybody come near me. But you…my little kitten, you tore it down, brick by brick.” 

I kissed his chest, letting my actions speak rather than words. He pushed the hair sticking to my temples behind and wiped the tears with the pad of his thumbs. 

“Then why did it take you so long to tell me all this?” I asked between sobs. I had been begging him to tell me everything from day one, yet he took so much time. I plotted running away from him, hated him and bickered so much with him, called him names while he endured it silently. 

I felt horribly guilty for everything I had done or said to him. He had just admitted he loved me in his own way. But I wanted more of this, more of 

him. 

And if I could jump upon this chance of making him realize just how much he wanted me, and loved me with the same ferocious intensity I did, I would shamelessly take it. 

His voice cracked, and I saw the way his lips trembled. “Because I was not sure if you would stay with me till the end. The pain of losing Aisy still haunts me to this day. And I did not allow myself to fall for anyone. I was afraid I would lose you, too. So it was better to make you hate me.” 

Callahan said, and I smiled through the tears. “We both saw how good that plan turned out, right?” 

He chuckled, and I saw the first signs of relief cross his features. 

“Are you…are you still not second guessing your decision? Mirabel literally showed you what happened to her own daughter, Zee. I cannot bear to see something happen to you. I promised you the truth and I gave it to you. The complete truth.” 

I kissed his fingers that were caressing my cheek and I saw the way he gasped. This was my Callahan. The Lycan King who was cold and cruel on the outside but was a sweetheart on the inside. 

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I always knew he was only putting up a show of being cold and unreachable, but I could not have ever imagined the truth to be so intense….so jarring. 

The loss of a loved one leaves wounds and pain that seldom goes away. I had lost my mother, so I knew how that felt. But I had not seen the light in her eyes dim as I held her, sobbing uncontrollably. 

“I don’t deserve to live, Zee. I don’t deserve you either.” 

I put a finger on his lips to stop him from talking, but he pulled it away and continued to talk. “I could not protect Aisy and…and I attacked you, too. That is why I was not letting you become my anchor. I feel…I feel I will not be able to do justice to you or your feelings…” 

I could not hold back any longer. The fact that he had been living with so much burden and did not have anybody to share with all this life was heart wrenching. 

Callahan did not deserve this life. Nobody did. It was not his fault that Aislynn died, and he 

has been living with a tremendous amount of guilt 

all his life. 

Now I knew why he would laugh cruelly when Drusilla or anybody else h cruelly when Drusilla or anybody else spoke about fate. He never really worshiped the Moon Goddess either. I only thought he was an atheist at first. 

Not all men believed in God. But he had been created by and left to rot. How could Selene do this to him? 

our Goddess 

I had been praying to her all my life and worshiped her, thought of her as my own mother. There were countless nights I would keep staring outside the window, looking at the moon and wondering if she was listening to me, if she was paying attention to her neglected daughter. 

But after hearing what Callahan went through, that belief in the Moon Goddess was shaken. I did not know what to think of her anymore. Not that she would care. She had left Callahan to rot for so many years and never thought of freeing him of his curse. 

I never thought I would feel anything but devotion to the Moon Goddess. But I guess now she did not have one more ardent believer of hers. 

And if she was going to send me to hell for siding with Callahan, so be it. 

“Zee, you should really think-” Callahan began again, but I did not want to hear any reason why I could not want him. In fact, the more he 

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revealed about the dark past, the more my admiration, love, respect and everything I felt for him increased even further.