Hatred With Benefits novel Chapter 17

EVA.

"The fuck is wrong with you?" He bellows as he moves to his feet and I take my eyes from his lower body to his face covered with an angry expression.

"You were cuddling me. " I complain as I extend my hand to grab my sweater from the carpet when Emerson's gaze gets too overbearing.

"Cuddling you?" He scoffs as I throw the material over my head and raise to my feet with a smirk covering my face. "Yes, Ford. You had your arms wrapped around me and your head on my chest. What the fuck do you think I was gonna do? Let you stay there?"

"I wasn't cuddling you. " He argues, moving towards me to grab his shirt. "Even if I was. We just had sex, Carson. You think a cuddle means anything compared to sex?"

"A cuddle is intimate and intimacy is the last thing I want to have with you. " I tell him, and he cocks his head, his famous smirk appearing on his face. "And why's that? Afraid you'll break the rule and fall faster than I predicted?"

I shake my head and grab my phone from the table. Lifting my head to him, I say, "It's because the thought of my skin against yours sicken me. "

Emerson laughs. "I take it as me fucking you disgusts you then?"

"It does. " I confirm with a nod and Emerson finally throws his shirt over his head. Smoothing his hands down the material, he moves closer to me. "For something that disgusts you, you sure as hell scream too much for more. I would have thought you actually loved it. " I don't miss the mockery in his voice and I clench my jaw in response.

Before I can speak again, the vibration of his phone interrupts me and Emerson looks to the device. My eyes follow his and I take in a breath at the sight of the name across the screen: Paige.

Emerson shifts his gaze back to me and gives me a dismissive wave before turning his attention back to the ringing phone.

"Hey. " He speaks as he takes the call and throws his trousers over his shoulder, walking past me to his room and I let out a sigh, falling back on the couch.

I take my eyes to my phone and there are three new text notifications.

My heart races in my chest at the text from my mom and I gnaw at my lips as I open the message, her words staring back at me from across the screen.

MOTHER: I just wanted to make sure you're alright, Eva. The time is drawing near and I know how you get during those times. I want you to know that you always have me and your father by your side. You never have to deal with it alone, Eva. Love you always, mom.

Sadness engulfs me at her words and I inhale a sharp breath. I do know it's near and I've been successfully distracting myself with things around me. Trying to stop those all too familiar dark thoughts from creeping in, trying to break free from the pain that consumes my heart and trying not to go down the path everyone is afraid I would, but in the end, there's only an amount of time I can escape from it all.

My phone vibrates next to me, bringing me out of my thoughts and I take a thick breath before lifting it to my gaze to see Aliya's name across my screen.

"Aliya. " I say as I press the mobile to my ear and there's a loud noise in the background. I frown and move the phone from my ear when there's no response, making sure she's still on the line before clutching it to my ear again. "Are you there?"

"Yeah, " her almost breathless voice says.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to call you. Oh, Goddamn! Fuck off!"

When I realize she's out somewhere, I stay silent and let her get to a less crowded place before speaking again.

"Where the fuck have you been? I left messages, and you never responded. " Aliya snaps, her voice loud and clear this time.

"Sorry, um–" I rake my brain for a reasonable excuse other than the unspeakable truth. "I didn't realize. I left my phone in the living room. Where are you? Is something wrong?"

"No, " she answers. "Everything is fine. I just got worried because you weren't responding and that's unlike you. "

I smile and sink back into the couch. "I'm fine, Aliya. "

"Good, because I'm in some deep fucking shit right now. " Her troubled voice comes from the other end and I draw my brows together. "What do you mean? I thought you said everything is fine?"

"Nothing is fine, Eva. I'm fucking freaking out. I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to do. I mean, I do know what I'm to do but I don't know– I can't. " She rushes her words, her heavy pants discernible.