Hatred With Benefits novel Chapter 68

EVA.

The air between us has altered and my fists are folded as a measure to not slip over the edge with my nose flaring in irritation as I stare at Emerson, who stands two steps away from me with frustration clear in his eyes– no doubt that it comes nowhere as close to mine.

"I can't believe you, Eva. What is it that you want to hear from me?" He speaks and I say, "What is it that you're hiding?"

"I'm not hiding anything—" He starts, but I cut in, my voice loud as I part my lips. "Stop fucking lying! You don't get to do that, Emerson. You don't get to lie right to my fucking face! You're keeping something from me. It's visible and I want to know it!"

"So you think I'm hiding something from you because I don't want you using my phone behind my back or because I didn't take a call in your presence? Can you hear yourself, Eva? You're calling me a liar because I want my privacy?" Disbelief laced through his voice as he scoffs.

"No. Don't. Don't do that. Don't turn this on me. This isn't about your privacy. You never fucking cared about privacy so why now?" I lift a brow at him and he says, "Why does it matter?"

"Because it fucking bothers me! Don't you fucking get it? Your actions are making me think things I shouldn't! And it isn't just about being in your privacy because you know damn well a slight touch to a phone isn't intruding damn privacy!" I tell him, marching closer to his front.

"I'm not hiding anything from you, Carson. " He repeats the same words from earlier with a tone of finality, his words leaving no room for further controversy and I nod as I slowly back away from him before I twist my body in the other direction and walk out of the kitchen.

Walking inside my room, I slip my legs into the nearest pants I can find, and throw a sweater over my head, grabbing my phone from the bed before I walk out of the room with my flats covering my feet.

When I walk back into the living room, Emerson is standing at the kitchen opening and when his eyes fall on me; alarm covers his face before he starts to saunter in my direction while I turn towards the door.

"Where do you think you're going?" Emerson grabs my wrist, halting my steps and I turn back to meet his eyes. "Out. I need to be away from here. "

"Eva, please. Not this again. " He groans. "We're not doing this again, Eva. You can't make us do this again. "

"I'll be back, Emerson. I just need a take of fresh air. This is too much. " I proclaim, knowing I truly cannot bring myself to stay away from him, but also knowing if I stay in this moment with how things are between us; it'll lead to a lot more complications than just mere arguments.

Slowly, he drops his hold on me and opens his mouth, "Okay. But please don't leave me worried and come back to me soonest? Please, baby. "

"I will. " I give him a nod and his chest falls in a sigh before he nods in return. I turn away from him and walk out of the house, heading in the only direction I know how to.

~

It doesn't take long before I'm in front of Aliya's door, and only when I stare at the frame, do I contemplate whether it was a good decision to come here after a heated argument with Emerson. When I'm like this, she's the first person I think of, but I'm afraid the more I keep coming to her; the more tiring it'll grow even if she doesn't voice it out. She does have her issues to deal with after all.

My shoulders drop as I take a step back, tearing my gaze from the doorframe; only for my eyes to land on Aliya.

"Eva?" She's standing in front of me in a short dress and boots– her typical club attire.

"Were your leaving?" She asks as she strolls to the door and I say, "Yes, I— did you go to the club?"

Aliya takes her key from the bag as she speaks. "Yes, I went for a drink. I needed to clear my head. "

"Aliya, " I mutter as I step to her side. "You could have told me. "

"No, " she chuckles as she gazes at me over her shoulder. "I don't want to shorten your time with Emerson, and it was just a few drinks. It didn't take long. "

She opens the door and strides inside, and I trail after her, closing it behind us. "It doesn't matter, Aliya. You should have called me, because I would have. We always have each other's back no matter what, remember?"

"I know, babe. I just didn't want to disturb you. " She says and then she kicks her boots off, throwing the bag to a corner.

"I don't care. You'll call or text me next time if you ever have any worries, yeah?" I order sternly and she smiles, "Yes, mummy. "

"Call me that once again and it won't be funny. " I throw her a playful glare before dropping my eyes to her dress. "Did you manage to sort out your thoughts?"

"Yeah. I'm good for now. " She says and I narrow my eyes at her, "Are you sure?"

"I am. What about you? If you're here at this time then it means something happened?" She questions, bringing us back to the primary reason behind my appearance.

"He didn't say it. He's hiding something and I know it. " I tell Aliya as we walk to her bed and she says, "Are you sure it's something to get this angry over?"

"He's keeping secrets and you fucking think I shouldn't be angry over it?" I furrow my brows and Aliya is quick to shake her head, "That's not what I mean. Maybe he isn't just ready to tell you? I'm sure there are some things it took a while before you could tell him about?"

"I never hesitate with it comes to Emerson. Not since we got this intimate. " He's come to be my comfort. The one to relieve me of my worries and my pain, and I thought I was that person to him too, so why isn't he letting me in this time?

"You can't forget that we all have ways of doing things, Evie. " Aliya's words pull me out of my thoughts and I look back at her.

"That doesn't excuse his actions. You don't understand; it's frustrating. Having to be on edge every time and wondering what exactly it could be. Is it something good or something bad? Mostly thinking it's bad because he wouldn't be like this if it's good, right? Those thoughts are driving me insane and his behaviour doesn't help either. " I hiss and Aliya sighs, "So you left home? And you are not going back?"

"No, I will. "

"Uh?" She arches a brow and I proceed to say, "I'll go back tonight. I just honestly need some time away from him. The anger was overheated. "

"Come here, " she opens her right arm, gesturing for me to move closer and I adjust into her embrace, laying my head against her chest while she rubs my arm. "I hope you have it sorted out. Whatever it is. Just give it time. "

"We should. " I mumble. "I honestly hope so. "

~

"You're home. " Emerson is on my bed when I walk inside my room with his back to the headboard.

"I am. " I respond as I shut the door behind me and pace towards my closet.

"You can use my shirt. " Emerson voices out behind me when I stand in front of the dresser and I turn around, my eyes going to the shirt by his side. When I meet his eyes, he adds, "I took it out specifically for you. "

"Okay. " I agree, moving from the closet to grab his shirt. I stand by the bedside as I get rid of my clothes and throw his over my head, the familiar safeness inundating me as I pull at the hem of it.

"Come here. " Emerson pats the space next to him and I walk to the bed. I carefully climb on and Emerson's hand goes around my waist the second I'm settled, clasping my back against him.

"Are we good?" He asks, the warmth of his voice pressing to my ear and I let out a chuckle, "Do you think we are?"

"You have to trust me, Eva. I know you think I'm hiding something important from you, and maybe I am but you honestly have to trust me to have good reasons for doing that. I need you to. I said it once and I'll say it again– I'll never intentionally put myself in a position to hurt or lose you. " Pain never comes intentionally, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. The worst type of pain is the unpredictable one. The one that hit you out of the blue; one you never saw coming.

"Let's go to sleep, please. I'm tired. " I whisper and he hums, pressing his lips to the edge of my ear. "Everything will be fine, soon. I promise. " Then he pulls back, snuggling me against his chest.