Hellbound With You novel Chapter 812

"That man ruined us all, got his wife and children all tortured to an unimaginable degree before being mercilessly killed… and all just for that thing called love." A small but sardonic and painful laugh left his lips. "I despise him even more for saying that. Because he made me despise everyone who ever sacrificed everything and had no care for whoever that got hurt just so that they could be with the ones they love and desire."

He let out a shaky breath next. His grip on her tightening slightly again. "Over the years, I watched many others do the same. They sacrifice, ruin, hurt, break promises and kill – all in the name of their love and desire. And those people became the ones I hated the most. To me, they were nothing but selfish creatures who only thought about themselves." His tone was full of emotions as he voiced out what had been buried within him.

Another silence followed his confessions. This was the first time ever that he had expressed all of his feelings and thoughts on this out loud. It had been building up and accumulating inside of him, being supressed and pushed deep down that now that it had been given an outlet, it just poured out, unfettered, until everything was being let out.

"For almost seven hundred years, nothing has ever swayed me. Nothing managed to waver that very firm convictions that I had on this matter. My will to never become someone like my father was stronger than anything else. My will to never let anything ruin my carefully laid out plans and break my promise to myself was something that was never to be compromised. Everything was… going smoothly according to my plans. And I had proven to myself for hundreds of years that my father was the one in the wrong, that desire is not something impossible to control…" he paused after that long outburst and a seemingly tormented groan rumbled from deep within his chest. "…until you came… until you came… Alicia." Her name fell from his lips like a prayer. The way he uttered it would make anyone's heart who was listening ache unknowingly.

He was immobile and silent for a long while before opening his mouth to speak again. "Everything was still fine and under my control at first. The very first time I saw you, I knew I needed to stay away from you. So I did. I did not allow myself to trip… not after so long I had managed to remain unmoved. The temptation had been extremely strong though, but I managed to keep my distance and keep myself under tight control. It was hard but still tolerable. I've considered you as the ultimate test on my personal self-control and I was determined to win like always. I've watched you rot away in Zeres' arms. I've watched silently, without making any moves and let you sacrifice yourself for him. Though I knew back then that it definitely was not the end for you, and that I knew your death was meant to happen, I was nonetheless… inexplicably shaken by that event. Still, I managed to reign over my own reactions and feelings."