Chapter 150 Moments that turned into feelings
William was dead asleep as he laid next to her. She followed the lines of his back and wanted to trace them with her fingers. It was odd to care for a man that was as beautiful as he was rough. Her heart hummed for him alone and if she thought too deeply, she might discover the true core of her feelings.
Beth would tease her ruthlessly until she admitted something ridiculous like being in love with him. Doris didn’t know the first thing about love. No one had ever taught her the meaning of it and books only tried to tell her the glorified details of it. Nothing real, nothing that she could relate to or grasp onto.
Doris wasn’t sure if she was supposed to resent her feelings or wish them away. Was it love to want him to stay more than she wanted him to leave? Was it love to feel warm around him and cold when he was gone? What was love when the man she cared for confused her more than assured her?
It wasn’t fair to be a girl like her. Everyone else seemed to just know when it was right for them. (This novel will be daily updtaed at www.noveljar.com)
Everyone seemed to know what love was and Doris wasn’t sure if she was feeling love or hatred half of the time.
Many maids in the palace had found secret forbidden love with other servants or guards. They whispered their love in private and kissed in dark hallways when no one was around. She saw how sure they were of their feelings. There was no sense of wonder or resentment like there was for Doris. The men assured their women that they loved them-but did Doris want that? Did she want her lover to always tell her he loved her so she never forgot? Or did she want whatever it was that William gave her? 2
What if everyone experienced different sorts of love and she was already drowning in her own version? The one that William created for her over the weeks, and now she didn’t want to crawl out of it to save herself. She wanted to drown in his fucked up version of love if it only meant it would stay. If it meant he would never stray from her.
Her thoughts caused her to toss and turn until she finally got up and pulled on a thick robe over her clothes. She glanced back at William still asleep before she slipped out the door and into the hall. His guards spared her one curious look before they stared forward again.
Normally when she couldn’t sleep, she would go to the library and try to read anything just to get her thoughts somewhere new. It was so peaceful in there, her feet went automatic as they took her right where she needed to be as if they knew the drill.
The second she stepped through the doors, she inhaled the smell of old parchment. It caressed her mind and calmed her worst thoughts until she couldn’t remember what they were anymore. There was nothing but her and the thousands of books that offered an escape.
“I hoped to find you here.” said a voice from behind her. Doris turned to see Prince Martin rising from his favorite chair. She hadn’t even thought to look there like she normally did, he
was the furthest thing from her muddled mind.
“Oh, Prince Martin.” Doris bowed. “I’m sorry to have disturbed you, I’ll be going—“
“No, I wanted to see you here.” Prince Martin smiled and went to close the door. He kept it just a crack open as if that offered them enough privacy. She forced herself to stay where she was instead of opening it wider.
“Well, what can I do for you?” Doris picked at her nails and glanced around the dim room. (This novel will be daily updtaed at www.noveljar.com)
A few candles were scattered around the area, not nearly enough of them were lit enough for her to see him better.
Prince Martin took a deep breath and walked right up to her until they were just an inch apart. Doris tried to move back, but she bumped right into the desk behind her. “I’ve thought about you every second you were gone, Doris.” He admitted. His green eyes followed the lines of her face. “Did you ever think about me?” He asked.
Doris had never felt so lost for words. Her lips parted, but nothing came out. Nothing wanted to come out-she had nothing to say. “I know this is sudden, Doris.” He gripped her hands.
“… what? What are you saying, Prince Martin?” She silently prayed he was only telling her he was concerned for her because they were friends… nothing more. But the look on his face told her differently and made her heart race with uncertainty.
“I’m saying that I don’t want you to call me prince anymore… A bit of my heart swells in pain whenever you bow to me or call me that. I heard you call my other brothers by their names –“
“You wish for me to call you Martin?” Doris said hesitantly.
Martin laughed a little and ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m sure this has come as a surprise, but I told myself that when you came back to me, I would tell you how I felt.”
Prince Martin’s eyes flickered to her lips. He brushed her hair back behind her ear and Doris felt as if time was speeding up faster than she could register. Her mind was two steps behind his actions and she wanted to push him far away from her.
“Perhaps I should just show you…” He leaned down, but immediately pushed himself away when the large doors creaked open. 1
Did she look as confused as she felt? Doris took a few more steps away from Martin as if he s had just attacked her with his words. (This novel will be daily updtaed at www.noveljar.com)
Never had she dreamed that Prince Martin had those sort of feelings for her… but it was clear he had some sort of intentions when he found her alone in the library. I
“I’m sure it is. I haven’t heard once from you since I arrived, now I catch you in here trying to seduce my horrified mate.” William said more calmly than he looked. Martin looked taken aback at his words as he shot Doris a quick look.
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