Her Volkovs #Book 3 novel Chapter 37

Nikolai and Alexei talking on the phone.

Nikolai: I don't know. You tell me brother. She used the word shit while lashing out at me for marrying her and then kicked me out of our room. We both know she doesnt curse in any of our conversation. This isnt some hard core cursing but she must be pretty fucking mad if she did it!

Alexei: Then let me talk to her. Put me on speaker phone, toss the phone inside the room and get out of there.

Nikolai: That would be a great fucking idea if she hadnt made me lock the door on my way out!

Alexei: For fuck sake brother! Since when did locked doors stop you from getting our girl back?

Nikolai: Don't fucking put this on me! You know that I hate seeing her like this. She still hates me for forcing her to marry me. She was-- (sighs in defeat) she was crying brother. She's hurting.

Alexei: (Curses under his breath) I'm sorry brother. I cant stand looking at her like that as well. It will be the death of me.

(Both sigh and curse in defeat)

Nikolai: It was not the cry she ploys when she wants me to do something for her.

Alexei: Wait -- so you know that she fake cries when she wants you to do some robinhood shit to feed the poor and the hungry of the world or something?

Nikolai: The fuck do you think I am? I'm in love -- not a fucking imbecile!

Alexei: And you still give her what she wants knowing youre getting played so you can please the wife? Huh! I might have actually underestimated you Boss.

Nikolai: Fuck you! I'm gonna handle this here as long as I can but you must talk to her first. Ill do what I can to toss this phone beside her. And call me when you arrive in New York.

Alexei: I will brother. Take care of my princess.

Nikolai: Your princess has turned into a dragon, brother. Good luck to you.

Alexei: Shit. -- Look how time has changed brother. Youre the one holding the fort for me and covering my ass from our queen. Im proud of you bro.

Nikolai: (Shakes his head) You going home to New York better be worth her tears and rage.

Alexei: Don't worry brother, I'm gonna make some people pay a hard price when I go back to New York.

~

Belle's POV

The thought that Alexei left because he chose to avenge the death of their Pa's and Yelena is lingering inside my head, rotting my thoughts and making me hate myself even more. How can I ever think of my self when the one thing that my boys have been wanting is almost within their reach? How can I be this selfish? I am appalling. I hate myself so much for feeling this way!

But I would be the biggest hypocrite if I'm not going to admit that there's this part of me that believes Alexei left because of his need to avenge Yelena. Despite them knowing that they found no connection between her death and Sergey, Alexei is still convinced that maybe somehow their biggest enemy was involved.

In spite of his silence about their relationship, Alexei is still in love with Yelena and he's still grieving her death. And I just happen to look eerily like her that is why he took interest in me. The same with Nikolai. He loved his sister so much that's why when he first saw me-- he felt the need to protect me. It wasnt love. It was grief. It was denial of the fact that Yelena is gone. That the one person they cherish the most was never gonna come back.

I quickly wipe the tears from my eyes when I noticed the door is being opened. Nikolai came in with a phone in his hand.

"I said I want to rest Nikolai. Leave me be."

"I know what you said and I'm going to give you the space that you want. I just want you to talk to Alexei first, that's all."

He placed the phone right next to me in bed, kissed me on my forehead and exited the room. Seconds later Alexei talked on speaker phone, "Princess, I know that youre mad and if you don't want to talk to me I will accept it. You don't have to say a single word."

I lay on my back and just looked straight at the ceiling.

"I'm sorry if I left without letting you know first. I have to personally oversee the situation in New York. Dimitri found Sergey's men. We are hoping to extract information from those motherfuckers to locate their Boss."

I wasnt able to hold it any longer, I have to speak out or else my heart is going to explode, "Are you doing this for Yelena? Do you wish that youre with Yelena everytime that we are together? Do you think of her while you kiss me or make love to me?"

I heard him sigh before answering me in defeat, "Where is this coming from Belle? Why are you asking me these questions?"

"I just want to know the truth Alexei! Do you love me just because I look like Yelena and I remind you of her? Do you wish that youre with her instead of me?"

A long and somber pause filled the air. Tears came pouring down my face once again as realization dawns on me. He need not answer my question. His silence was more than enough.