What is it that we all want in this world?
Is it money?
Success?
Happiness?
Strength?
Peace?
Tranquility?
The answer would definitely change according to the person that is asked. For me, it is the desire to see the outside world or see what lay beyond the limits of our village.
However, was that really the case? Had I really wanted all those things for myself? All those things were 'really' my desire.
Something inside me always told me that I was missing something. From the moment I opened these damn eyes to this world, I always saw things easily, and that was also the case for my quick head.
And that quick head became a curse in times like this. I always questioned if I was really the one who always desired to leave this place since whenever I saw her, all these feelings always disappeared.
I found myself questioning all those things as the new morning made me greet the rising sun. It became a trend for me to rise from my bed before my general time nowadays. This was something that had frequently happened after our father and mother left this world.
"At-ta-ta- ta-ta….."
As I stirred from my sleep, a dull ache resonated through my body, a testament to the physical strain endured during the wood-gathering task yesterday.
The familiar sensation reminded me of the harsh reality of our responsibilities, a routine that became more pronounced after our parents departed from this world.
The first rays of sunlight filtered through the window, casting a warm glow on the simple room I called my own. The wooden walls held memories of shared laughter and conversations, but the absence of our parents lingered in the quiet corners.
"Sigh…."
With a silent sigh, I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, feeling the cool wooden floor beneath my feet.
"Maybe I overexerted myself."
The weight of yesterday's training still clung to my muscles as I questioned whether I should have not trained that much or not.
After all, even if I had this initial desire to improve my body condition, I also heard it frequently that overexerting myself wouldn't bring much benefits. And considering what I had seen so far in my life, that seemed to be true.
CREAK!
The wind howled through the window as my attention was drawn to that place. Seeing the brown-yellowish silk covering the land and the branches of trees that had lost their green color, it became evident that the winter was already on its way once again, a constant reminder of the tasks that awaited me.
"It was definitely not a wise decision to push myself like that….."
I couldn't help but curse myself for yesterday, as I knew the fact that he was the one that was responsible for the muscle pain I was experiencing right now.
"It is definitely not me."
The question of what I wanted to do with my life continued to linger in the corner of my head.
"What do I truly desire?" The question echoed within me as I moved through the motions of my morning routine. The ritual of splashing cold water on my face seemed to wash away the physical weariness, but the existential questions lingered.
The village, the woods, the training—it was all part of a life predetermined by tradition and responsibility. But as the morning sun painted the world in hues of gold, I couldn't shake the feeling that there was something more beyond the boundaries of our familiar existence.
"Come one….Thinking about it is pointless, isn't it."
However, I knew, in the face of real responsibilities, thinking about those fragile things like this.
"You have a roof over your head….What is there to complain about….That old man would definitely say if he was here…"
Remembering the smile of my father and his gentle attitude, I involuntarily curled the corner of my mouth.
I mean, how can I help it? Elders always said that things that are precious always tend to be appreciated after they are lost.
That was definitely true.
The memories of my father flooded my mind, a bittersweet cascade of moments that defined our relationship.
As I dressed and prepared for the day, I couldn't help but reminisce about the times when his guidance and gentle encouragement shaped my understanding of the world.
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