The night had long settled over the academy, but Lilia remained at the archery grounds, her presence solitary amidst the quiet. The crowd was gone, the remnants of the party fading into the distance. No distractions. No Adrian. No Selene.
Just her.
And the target.
Thwack!
An arrow shot forward, slicing through the air with practiced precision before embedding itself into the target’s center.
Lilia lowered her bow, her breath steady but her mind restless.
Astron’s words still lingered.
Are you sure this is what you want?
Her fingers tightened around the bowstring, irritation flickering in her chest. Of course, she was sure. She had to be.
Then why are you still thinking about it?
Her expression hardened as she nocked another arrow, raising her bow without hesitation.
She didn’t need to entertain pointless doubts. She knew what she was doing.
She released.
Thwack!
The arrow struck the target again, just slightly off-center this time. Her grip tightened.
She drew another arrow.
This wasn’t about proving anything. This wasn’t about him.
It was about control. About regaining what had been stolen from her tonight.
The bowstring stretched taut as she took aim once more, her crimson eyes locked onto the target.
She inhaled.
She released.
Thwack!
Another hit. Another step closer to drowning out the thoughts that wouldn’t leave her alone.
But the words remained.
The idea that—perhaps—she had been moving
The idea that—perhaps—she had been moving without thinking.
That maybe she was chasing something she had never actually chosen for herself.
Her breath came a little sharper, her heartbeat quickening as she fired another shot.
And another.
And another.
Each arrow flew, precise but growing wilder, her movements no longer as calculated. The thoughts she had tried to suppress came creeping back.
Was she really doing all of this because she wanted to?
Or was she just proving something?
Thwack!
Her final shot veered slightly off its mark, missing the bullseye by an inch.
Lilia lowered her bow slowly, staring at the target in front of her, frustration simmering just beneath the surface.
She had never doubted before. She had never needed to.
So why—why now?
She exhaled sharply, shaking her head.
It didn’t matter. She would not let someone like Astron’s words crawl beneath her skin.
She knew what she wanted.
"But do I really know that?"
"But do I really know that?"
The question settled in her chest like a stone, heavy and unyielding. Lilia stared at the target in front of her, at the arrows embedded deep into its surface. Some were dead center, some slightly off—but none were truly wrong.
And yet, she still felt unsatisfied.
Her grip on the bow tightened as her mind churned. Now that I think about it… do I really have to do all of this?
Her own words, her own actions—when she looked back at them, she could see it.
She could see the parts of herself that she had ignored.
Yes, she was ambitious. Yes, she wanted to win. But… there were moments, weren’t there? Moments where she hesitated. Moments where she followed a path not because she wanted to, but because it was the right one.
She thought back to her fight with Adrian. She had pushed herself, fought with everything she had. But…
Did she really need to fight him at all?
Her fingers twitched slightly.
Yes, she despised Adrian. Yes, she wanted to prove that she was better than him. But why? Why had she let herself get dragged into his game, knowing exactly what kind of person he was?
Her mind raced further.
And Selene.
Her lips curled slightly in frustration as she thought about her sister. The power struggles. The manipulation. The endless battle of who will win in the end?
But when had it even started?
Lilia exhaled sharply, her crimson eyes darkening.
She had spent so much time wrapped in this battle—fighting to secure her place, pushing herself forward without stopping to ask…
Did she even want this?
She scoffed under her breath. Of course, I do.
But even as she said it, the thought gnawed at the edge of her mind.
She could act high and mighty sometimes, yes. But she wasn’t the type to constantly belittle others. She wasn’t Selene, she wasn’t Adrian. She didn’t need to force people beneath her to feel like she was on top.
Then why? Why do I keep fighting like this?
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