29 A Painful Want or I Am The Luna Chapter 107 By Moonlight Muse
ZAIA.
Blow after blow…
The pain in my body is screaming at me to stop, to take a break and breathe… but I don’t want to.
I refuse to.
This is a way to release the rage inside of me and it’s… empowering.
“Zaia… let’s take a break.” Atticus’s breathless voice comes as he grabs my fist, yanking me against him, and twists my arm behind my back. “That’s enough for today.” He says, looking down at me.
His hair is drenched in sweat, as is his body. I’m the same. The hairs that refused to stay back are sticking to my face and I can feel the trickles of sweat dripping down my bare stomach as we stand there chest to chest.
“No. I’m not… but if you want to go, I’ll continue with one of my guards.” I say quietly, breaking free and turning away from him, about to summon one of my men when he grips.
hold of my elbow and forces me to face him.
“Zai “There’s concern in his eyes as he
obst s me, but I refuse to let people see the cracks within me…
I raise an eyebrow and tilt my head.
“What’s wrong Atticus? Can’t you handle me?” I ask challengingly as I slowly tug out of his hold and cross my arms.
He smirks slightly before sighing and shaking his head.
“Alright then, Red, let’s go again.” He says as he adjusts his sweatpants and re-ties the string. He’s shirtless, and he’s getting a lot of attention from the other females here and a couple of the guys.
He would make a good partner. I just hope he finds the one and gets that happily ever after he deserves without being hung up over me.
“Checking me out?” he asks, cocking a brow.
“I appreciate the view, but no, I was just thinking you aren’t getting any younger. I want to see you settle down.” I say as I fall into stance. I’m proud to say I’m a fast learner and this time I make the first move.
“That won’t happen,” he replies as he blocks me
“Ok, I’m done, even if you aren’t. I give up.” Atticus says breathlessly as I pin him to the ground, I’m straddling his stomach a dagger to his throat. He raised his hands in surrender, dropping them onto the ground beside his head as he looks up at me.
Hours have passed and we are the only ones left in the training hall. I know I pushed him today, but I feel a little calmer, or maybe that’s because I’m just exhausted.
“You went easy on me, didn’t you?” I ask, tilting my head.
“Honestly? No. I didn’t because this isn’t a joke, and I don’t want you to underestimate the
enemy or a real match. Not that you don’t know how to handle yourself on the battlefield,” he says quietly, slapping the side of my thighs. ” You did good Red.”
I suddenly become aware of our position and dropping the dagger, I climb off him groaning at how achy my body is.
“Take a breather.” He says, grabbing my arm ling me onto the ground beside him.
My back hits the mat beneath me as I lay there beside him staring at the ceiling.
The sound of our thundering hearts as we recover is loud in the room, but it’s oddly satisfying.
There’s silence between us until he speaks.
“You really want me to settle down…” Atticus says, making me turn my head to look over at him.
“Yes, you aren’t getting any younger. Find a good woman. Life is short.” I say with a small smile.
“But would that be fair to the woman?” he asks, his smirk fading slightly.
“What do you mean?” I ask. “I mean, you can be a little annoying, but you’re a good person.”
Not that I have any right to give him advice when my own relationship is something I can’t even keep together.
“I mean… would it be fair to the woman I settle for when I am in love with someone else?” his voice is quiet, but his words are clear.
ok across at him. “I’m not worth it,” I say q…etly as I sit up.
“I told you I’ll wait. Even if there’s no end… I’ll still wait.” He sits up, but I refuse to look at him. “Zaia…”
“I’m just saying let it go, I’m never going to return those feelings… don’t waste your life over me. It’s foolish.” say, about to stand up when he takes hold of my wrist.
“Hey, look at me.”
Don’t you get it? I can’t deal with this…
I look into his eyes, trying to keep my face expressionless.
“You can’t choose who you love, and I know you will never reciprocate those feelings, and I respect that. But you don’t have the right to say whether they are a waste of time or foolish, because that’s my choice and I don’t think they are. You are an incredible woman, Zaia.”
“Atticus…”
“You’re hurting and I’m not trying to make matters worse or use your emotional state to
“Take a breather.” He says, grabbing my arm pulling me onto the ground beside him.
My back hits the mat beneath me as I lay there beside him staring at the ceiling.
The sound of our thundering hearts as we recover is loud in the room, but it’s oddly satisfying.
There’s silence between us until he speaks.
“You really want me to settle down…” Atticus. says, making me turn my head to look over at him.
“Yes, you aren’t getting any younger. Find a good woman. Life is short.” I say with a small smile.
“But would that be fair to the woman?” he asks, his smirk fading slightly.
“What do you mean?” I ask. “I mean, you can be a little annoying, but you’re a good person.”
Not that I have any right to give him advice when my own relationship is something I can’t even keep together.
“I mean… would it be fair to the woman I settle for when I am in love with someone else?” his voice is quiet, but his words are clear.
i look across at him. “I’m not worth it,” I say quietly as I sit up.
“I told you I’ll wait. Even if there’s no end… I’ll still wait.” He sits up, but I refuse to look at him. “Zaia…”
“I’m just saying let it go, I’m never going to return those feelings… don’t waste your life over me. It’s foolish.” say, about to stand up when he takes hold of my wrist.
“Hey, look at me.”
Don’t you get it? I can’t deal with this…
I look into his eyes, trying to keep my face expressionless.
“You can’t choose who you love, and I know you will never reciprocate those feelings, and I respect that. But you don’t have the right to say whether they are a waste of time or foolish, because that’s my choice and I don’t think they are. You are an incredible woman, Zaia.”
“Atticus…”
“You’re hurting and I’m not trying to make matters worse or use your emotional state to forward my gain, but just remember, you are worth way more. There are so many men who ould sacrifice the world to have you by their side.”
Only not the one I loved…
Tears prickle my eyes and I look away, ashamed that I let it get to me.
“I’ll see you tonight, Atticus,” I say quietly.
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