I Am The Luna (Moonlight Muse) novel Chapter 230

Chapter 0230 

SEBASTIAN. 

The sound of the shower running fills the room and I sit on the bed, running my fingers through my hair for the hundredth time. 

How do I do this? 

There’s no time left… 

I have to leave her… 

Standing up, I leave the room silently and walk down the hall to the children’s room. The light to Jai’s room is on and I can hear quiet talking. 

I hope for what it’s worth that his injury at least helped Valerie forgive him a little. To this day, I don’t think Jai was in his right mind when he ended up sleeping with Cara back then. 

He had been so distraught I don’t think he even knew who it was in that bed, simply rambling about how he needed to find Valerie. 

I make sure I’m not making any sound as I slip into the children’s room and look at the two little angels in bed. They’re fast asleep and I realise I’m leaving them again. 

I’m always leaving them. I sit down on the bed and look down at Zion, running my fingers through his dark hair. 

Take care of your mom and this pack, son. Be the Alpha I never could be. 

Why did she have to love me? Why did she have to be fated to a fool like me? All I do is hurt her even when I don’t want to… 

I look over at Sia, her pale cheeks are flushed with a pink hue, and her breathing is shallow. 

He poisoned her… my little princess… 

I brush a few strands of her hair off her face. It’s so similar to Zaia’s… She’s going to grow up and look just like her mother and she will grow up. 

She will live a healthy and happy life. 

I will get that antidote. Even if it’s the last thing I do, she will survive this and she will heal. 

My heart clenches, the pain in my chest is almost crippling. Leaning down, I kiss 

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her forehead softly, inhaling her scent. 

I’m sorry I won’t get to see you grow. I kiss her hand gently before I kiss Zion, knowing he’ll grow up strong. 

Take care of your sister for me, son. 

I close my eyes, trying to calm the storm that is bubbling inside of me. Casting a final glance at the children, I stand up, not wanting Zaia to realise I’m missing from the bedroom. 

I get up, turning away and then stop. Turning back, I look down at them once more, questioning myself. 

What kind of father is never there? 

One you don’t need. 

I gaze at their faces, knowing I’ll never forget this moment. 

I love you both so fucking much and I don’t deserve you. 

My eyes are stinging, but I take a deep breath, turning away for the final time and striding to the door. If I look back, I don’t know if I’ll be able to walk away with the strength I need. 

Returning to the bedroom, I can still hear the sound of water. The shower is still running, and I silently lock the door. 

Pulling my top off, I get into bed, place my arms behind my head and close my 

eyes. 

I hear the shower switch off and after a few moments I hear her enter the bedroom, her scent mixed with the smell of her bath products…. 

I’m going to miss this… 

I keep my breathing steady as I sense her watching me before there’s a rustle as she gets dressed. There are a few moments of silence before I feel the bed dip and she slowly gets in between the sheets, trying not to disturb me. 

“Hm,” she murmurs, and I feel her fingers gently comb through my hair. ” Goodnight, handsome.” 

My heart clenches as she leans in and gently kisses my forehead. The thudding of her heart already making my resolve break. 

I can’t do this. Fuck, I can’t leave her. 

My eyes snap open, and she’s watching me with concern. “Hey, are you okay?”