I will never be yours (Kian and Selena) novel Chapter 148

Selena pov

Stepping out on the other side of the portal I come to stand right in front of the pack house, it feels like ages since I was here and it's all different this time.

Take a deep breath before I start to walk up the stairs and head over to the front door, opening it up I hear several voices and know they are in the kitchen and eating breakfast making my way over there I step into the kitchen and see everyone sitting around the table except Jessie, she is nowhere to be seen.

"Selena you're back!" Zoey says and gets up on her feet and walks over to me when she wraps me up in a tight hug. Feels good to be back with them!

" yes, I am, and need to talk to you after I have talked to Jessie!" I say to her when she releases me from her arms.

"I have something to talk to you about as well, mind link me when you are done talking to her. You know where to find her!" she says and I think I do.

"I will catch up with you all later after I have talked to her!" I say and look at them when they give me a nod or a smile back in response. Turning around I head out of the kitchen and start to climb the stairs up to her room, finding her scent strong the closer I get when I stop in front of her door.

Taking a breath to prepare myself for this talk when I give the door a knock before going inside, seeing her sitting on the bed she raises her head and looks at me in surprise before she is quick on her feet and runs over to where I am and wrap her arms around me, she breaks down in a sob on my shoulder. Wrapping my arms around her I can only imagine how bad she feels about all that happened.

"I'm so sorry for everything Selena!" she says in a sob and I already know it.

"I know! But you have to explain some things to me!" I say when she lets go of me and turns around to take a seat on the bed.

"what do you want to know?" she asks and wipe away her tears, walking over I take a seat on the bed beside her.

"Did everyone go with Jacob of their own free will or did he command them?" I have had this nagging at my mind since it happened.

"everyone went because they wanted and were tired of sitting inside here and only waiting for what's to come, I know we went against your orders and we shouldn't have then they all would be alive now and you would still be in charge of the pack!" she says and I hear how troubled she is over the whole thing.

"I'm still in charge of the pack, needed to focus on me and our children for what needed to be done, it was for the best he helped and take care of it for the time being!" I say when she turns to look at me.

"So you are coming back as the Alpha?" she says

"I never stopped being the Alpha, only I had to focus on myself and how this could go so wrong! Both my Beta and my Gamma went against my orders and disobeyed their Alpha, what message does it send to the rest?" I ask and look at her, seeing her take a deep breath before she gets up on her feet and starts to pace around the room.

"We only wanted to keep the pack safe and you, that's why we wanted to go outside the barrier!" she stops and looks at me, I see the pain in her eyes after everything that happened and I can only imagine how hard she is blaming herself for their death.

"I know why you did it even if it were wrong, they all had to pay the price for it! I couldn't save them and if I hadn't forced you to come with me that day you would probably lay dead like the others!" I say when she walks over and takes a seat beside me on the bed.

"I know Selena, my conscious is heavy with their death on it!" she says and I grab her hand in mine.

"No, Jessie! If they all went outside by their own free will knowing what is out there and they would be outnumbered then you couldn't have done anything to help them, even I tried and couldn't do anything!" I say when she hangs her head.

"it was me and Jacob who talked about it, he wanted to go out there and persuade me to go, it wasn't hard and I should have stood against it but it was easy to change my mind!" she says and drags her hand down her face.